True Colors

He was on his feet in an instant, standing in front of her, untying her robe.

“This is crazy,” she said, feeling the terrycloth slide down her body.

“Crazy,” he murmured, kissing her throat, the swell of her breasts, the valley between.

“Just once more,” she said, closing her eyes.

The last thing she heard before he kissed her was laughter.

The next morning, when Vivi Ann woke in her own bed, feeling bruised by last night’s passion, she knew she’d been changed. All her life she’d pretended to be wild, while really she’d been safe and protected. Riding a horse at breakneck speed was nothing, easy; all she’d ever had to do was yank back on the reins and her mount would slow to a stop.

There were no reins to pull back on now, no way to slow down with Dallas. She might not know him well—at all, really—but she knew that there were only two speeds available to them. Stop or run.

And she had to stop.

She got out of bed and dressed for church. With her hair drawn back from her face and caught up in a white scrunchie, and in her ankle-length jean dress with a wide belt, she looked absolutely normal.

She went downstairs, left a plate of food in the fridge for Dallas, and then went to find her dad. Together they walked out of the house and up to the truck. “How was the rodeo last night?”

“Luke was worried about you. He said he was gonna call.”

“Really? I must not have heard the phone. Are you still going to Jeff’s house after church?” It was all she could think to ask. She wanted to change the subject.

“Yep.”

They drove to church in silence. Outside, in the parking lot, they met up with Luke and the rest of the family and went to their regular pew, where Vivi Ann felt hemmed in, trapped as she was between Luke and her father. All through the service (God’s path for us is righteousness; sin is the bend in the road that will lead us astray if we are not ever vigilant against its dark temptations), she felt exposed, guilty. She was sure that any minute Father MacKeady would point to her and shout out, Sinner!

When the service was over, she bolted from their pew and rushed down to the relative peace of the church basement, where refreshments and coffee were being served. There, she moved among her friends and neighbors, trying to let their voices drown out the roaring noise of her own guilt. All the while, as she talked to friends and made silly jokes and sipped coffee, she was thinking: Dallas.

Just that, his name. Over and over again.

Every passing minute tightened something in her, until she began to think that she might break apart. Only he could loosen her.

Maybe just once more.

“There you are,” Luke said suddenly, putting an arm around her and drawing her close to his side.

Then Winona and Aurora showed up.

“Let’s go,” Aurora said. “I’m starving.”

Vivi Ann let herself be swept along by Luke and her sisters as they left the church and walked the two blocks to Winona’s house.

There, they gathered in the living room for mimosas and homemade cinnamon rolls. The whole house smelled of spices and scented candles. Everywhere Vivi Ann looked there was a pretty little decoration, a possession. Was that what life was supposed to be—a search for things to own, a decorating of otherwise empty rooms? She went to the sunroom and stared out at the garden, which was a riot of tamed, clipped color. Every plant had been shaped to match Winona’s precise vision.

It should have been beautiful, and was, in a controlled way that wasn’t what Vivi Ann wanted at all. It was like their mother’s garden had once been—tended with care and planted with precision, rows that were even and straight and true.

She glanced sideways, wishing she could see the ranch from here, wondering what he was doing now. Behind her, she could hear her sisters talking to her, but it was just noise. She remembered last night in vivid detail, wanting it—him—again.

“Vivi? Are you listening?” It was Winona, and she was practically yelling.

“We’re talking about where to have your reception,” Aurora said sharply.

Slowly, Vivi Ann turned around and found them all staring at her. “Oh. Sorry. I was looking at the garden. It’s so pretty, Win.”

Luke pulled her into his arms. “I’m worried about you, baby.”

“We all are,” Aurora said.