If You Believe

Mad Dog snorted. "Yeah, Ive known men whod say a fool thing like that. Most of

em never missed a meal in their life. "

Jake moved toward Mad Dog hesitantly and sat down a respectful distance away.

"Have you? Missed meals, I mean?"

"More than a few. "

"When you were a boy? I mean, that would explain—"

Mad Dog looked at Jake sharply. "You ask a lot of questions. "

Embarrassment stained the boys cheeks. He looked away, stared hard at the grass.

A glaze of something that looked suspiciously like tears sheened his eyes. "Sorry. "

"Oh, for Christs sake, dont take it so personal. I just meant, theres some things a man doesnt like talking about. Some things / dont like talking about. " He smiled at the boy. "So tell me something about yourself. Where you from?"

"Wisconsin. "

Mad Dog couldnt think of a damn thing to say about that. "Oh. "

"M-My grandfathers name was Jacob, too. " He glanced up, stared at Mad Dog through eyes that looked impossibly big against his small face. "You ever know anyone by that name?"

He felt a surprising jolt of emotion. It had been years since hed thought of old Jacob Vanderstay. A bitter smile thinned his lips. "Yeah, I knew one once. He was a mean son of a bitch, too. Wanted everyone to live by his rules. And I never knew a person who had so many rules. "

"How did you meet him?"

Mad Dog leaned back against the wobbly fence rail. A dozen images, long forgotten, surged through his mind, bringing a bittersweet smile to his lips. Laralee.

He shook his head. Christ, how long had it been since hed thought of her? "I knew his daughter. "

"How come youre smiling?"

"She was something else. I wonder what ever happened to her. "

"Your wife?"

"Almost. " He grinned at the boy. "But I made a clean getaway. "

The boy frowned. "Did you ever go back to see her?"

"Naw. " He stretched his arms across the top rail and stared up at the endless blue sky. "She was rich and spoiled as hell. Her dad thought I was a lousy bum who might be redeemed by hard work in the family business. " He leaned toward Jake, grinning. "You know what the family business was?"

Jake looked like he was going to smile. "What?"

"Funeral parlor. " He laughed. "The old man wanted me to take it over if I married his precious daughter. " Mad Dog shuddered dramatically. "It wasnt for me. And Laralee and her dad made it clear: If I married Laralee, I was an embalmer in training.

So one night I just packed my stuff and moved on. But for a long time I wondered what happened to her. "

"You couldve gone back to see. " There was a strange bitterness in the boys voice.

Mad Dog shrugged. "What for? She wouldnt have wanted to see me again—not after the way I ran out. Believe me, kid, women are funny about shit like that. "

Jake looked at him through green eyes that were strangely sad. "She would have wanted to see you . . . I bet. "

"Could be. " Mad Dog pulled his gaze away from Jakes face. There was something unexpected in the boys eyes, a pathetic edge of pain that was too deep, too agonized. . . .