She turned her head toward him and found him staring at her. Their faces were close, separated only by a studded thicket of browning grass. He didnt say anything, just stared at her, his gray eyes filled with an impossible understanding.
Mariah felt a surge of gratitude and caring. For the first time in her life, someone had reached out to her, said—however silently—that she wasnt alone.
She wanted to weep at how much that simple touch meant to her. But, of course, she didnt. She smiled and squeezed his hand, saying nothing.
She didnt even know what to say.
"Whats the boy doing, Jake?" Rass said, moving the game forward.
Slowly Mariah turned her attention back to the sky. So did Mad Dog, but he didnt draw his hand away.
"Hes leaving home," Jake said. "That big cloud— thats home. The other one, the skinny one, thats his father. Hes moving toward his dad, but he cant catch up. The wind is taking them in different directions. "
"I dont see a dad," Mad Dog said. "I see a barmaid with big breasts and too much hair. Shes chasing the dad, too. " He grinned, pointed up. "The dads slowing down for her. "
Jake laughed, and with that buoyant, juvenile sound, the pallor of old sadnesses evaporated, floating away in the apple-scented air.
For hours, the four of them lay in the fragrant, drying grass, amid a blanket of fallen autumn leaves, staring up at the blue, cloud-strewn sky.
Never once did Mad Dog let go of Mariahs hand.
Chapter Ei
ghteen
Jake felt acutely conspicuous as he stood by the bunkhouse, waiting for Mad Dog.
He flexed his fingers, then curled them tight, then flexed them again. Nervously he bounced on the balls of his feet.
He tried to make himself smile, tried to feel confident.
He could do this, he could. Hed just tilt his chin up, meet his fathers eyes, and ask him. It was just a question, after all. Just a stupid question.
Mad Dog, would you mind teaching me to fight!
He frowned. No, that wasnt right. Too formal. His father would probably laugh and keep walking.
Hey, Mad Dog, you wanna boxl It sounded like he was offering him a present.
He flexed and unflexed his hands again. He needed something just right; the perfect words to make Mad Dog notice him.
That was the key.
Jake tried not to think about how much that hurt.
Mad Dog hadnt noticed him yet. Oh, hed spoken to Jake, hed even laughed with him a couple of times. But they hadnt . . . connected. The magical father/son tie Jake had always believed in didnt seem to exist. At least not between him and Mad Dog.
Even yesterday while theyd watched clouds together, thered been nothing special between them. Theyd laughed and talked some, but it wasnt what Jake had dreamt of all his life. What he ached to find. Even his obvious hint about the cloud/boy searching for his father had fallen on deaf ears.
"Hey, kid, youre lookin pretty down in the mouth. Whats up?"
Jakes head snapped up. Mad Dog was standing in front of him, smiling.
Mad Dog walked toward him. "You okay?"
Jake couldnt move, couldnt even nod. Humiliated, he started to turn away.
Mad Dog touched his sleeve. "Hey, kid, did you want something from me?"