If You Believe
Page 101
"Christ, Mariah. " Mad Dog swiped up the blankets and threw them at Jake, who tucked the thick wool around Rass.
Then Mad Dog climbed up onto the buggy seat and yanked back on the reins.
"Open the gate, Mariah. "
The gate.
Mariah felt the words like a punch to the throat. She started shaking; her breathing shattered into short, choppy bursts that burned up her throat.
"Open the goddamn gate!"
You can open the gate, Mariah. You can.
Haltingly she moved toward the gate. The long silver latch glinted in the moonlight.
She stared at it, unable to m°ve. Her heart thundered in her ears, a headache pulsed behind her eyes. For a terrifying, debilitating moment, she thought she was going to throw up.
Come on, Mariah . . .
She reached out; her fingers trembled so hard, it took her a moment to grab hold.
At the feel of it, so icy cold and unfamiliar, pure, primal terror washed through her.
She wrenched her hand back.
She couldnt touch it, couldnt open it. Not even for Rass. Oh God, oh Jesus . . .
Behind her, something cracked hard. Hooves pounded toward her. The ground rattled beneath her feet.
"Whoa!"
Cleo skidded to a dusty stop, the buggy creaked. Mad Dog jumped down from the seat and shoved the gate aside, then he climbed back up into the carriage. "Get in!"
he yelled.
Dully Mariah looked up at him. For a heartbeat, she didnt know what he was talking about.
"Get in, for Christs sake. "
She shook her head, trying to speak, but nothing made it past her lips except a tiny, mewling sound of terror. Despair pushed in at her from all sides, strangled her. It had been a lie, all these years. She thought she didnt want to leave; shed never known she couldnt, never known she was so sick and twisted and useless. . . .
Mad Dog frowned. "Mariah? What is it?"
She felt as if she were being ripped slowly, painfully in half. She tried desperately to breathe, but she couldnt. "I . . . cant . . . leave. "
"What do you mean?"
A scream welled up inside her. She shook her head, trying to hold it back. "I c-cant leave the farm. "
Mad Dog ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. "I dont know what the hell youre talking about, Mariah. Get in the goddamn buggy. "
This time she couldnt stop the scream. It ripped past her mouth and blasted through the night, a sound of elemental, animal grief. "I cant" she screamed, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
"Mariah—"
"Just go, goddamn it. " She lifted her face to Mad Dogs, saw him through a blur of hot tears. "T-Take care of him, please. . . . " Her voice shattered into a pathetic whimper. "Please, hes all I have. . . . "
"I know where the doctor lives," Jake said from the backseat.