Distant Shores

"Its just a house, Birdie. Four goddamned walls with bad plumbing and windows that leak. " He moved toward her. "Does this house mean more to you than I do? You know how long Ive dreamed about this. "

"What do I dream about, Jack?"

"Huh?"

"Good answer. Im supposed to put your dreams first always. When is it my turn?"

"How in the hell is anybody supposed to know that you even want a turn, Birdie? You spend your whole life on the sidelines. You want a turn? Then take a chance like the rest of us, step up to the plate, but dont rain all over me because I have the guts to go after what I want. "

The color faded from her cheeks, and he knew hed gone too far. With Birdie, you could rant and rave and scream; what you couldnt do was get too close to the truth.

She took a step back. "Ill be back. I have to think. "

"No, damn it, stay here and talk to me. Dont run away. " He knew it wouldnt do any good, though. She always walked out in the middle of a fight and came back later, calmed down. She couldnt stand the intensity of her own emotions.

He touched her chin and forced her to look up at him. "Think about this, Birdie. Ive spent two years in the middle of nowhere. Ive commuted three hours a day so you could have your dream house. All this time, youve known I was dying here. I did that for you. " Then he added softly, "I thought youd be happy for me. "

She sighed heavily. "Oh, Jack. Of course you did. "

He didnt know what to say to that. In silence, he watched her walk out of their bedroom. He didnt bother following her; he knew there was no point. Instead, he went to the window and waited.

Sure enough, a few moments later, he saw her emerge from the porch. She walked across the darkened yard, toward the prow of their property, where an old, weathered fence ran along the cliffs ragged edge. She stood at the top of the stairs and stared out to sea.

He had no idea what she was thinking. Yet another sign of how far apart theyd drifted.

Finally, she came back into the house. By then, hed made a fire in the fireplace and put a frozen lasagna into the oven. The house smelled of baking tomatoes and melting cheese.

She hung her down coat on the hall tree in the entry and came into the living room. For an eternity, she stood there, staring at him, her face streaked by dried tears. Very softly, she said, "I suppose we could live in New York again--for a while. "

He pulled her into his arms, swinging her around. "I love you, Birdie. "

"Youd better. "

"Itll be great this time, youll see. No kids to keep you housebound, and no job that keeps me out of town. " He could see that she was skeptical, but also that she wanted to believe it.

"Okay. But I want to rent out this house, not sell it. This isnt a permanent move. I want that agreed upon, or its no deal. "

"Deal. "

"Someday well come back here. Well grow old in this house. "

"Agreed. "

"And well live outside of Manhattan. Maybe Westchester County. Ill start calling realtors on Monday. They should be able to find us a place by summer. "

"I start work on Monday. "

"What?"

"That was the deal. They want the show to air quickly. "

"What in the hell were you thinking?" She pulled away from him. "We cant move by Monday. "

"They offered me a contract and I signed it, Birdie. With my past, what was I supposed to do--negotiate?"

"You cant find a decent place to live in New York that quickly. Last time it took us six months. "

"We can use their corporate apartment until we find our own place. Ill fly back on Sunday. As soon as you get this place closed up, you can come and pick out your dream house. Moneys no object this time. " He smiled. "Come on, Birdie, dont look so pissed off. This is an adventure. "