"Like Cannon Beach?"
Meghann scooted closer. "I thought about this on the drive down here. You always wanted to get your masters degree in fine arts, remember? This would be a great time to do it. "
"That was a long time ago. "
"Your excuses are wearing thin, Birdie. You could have gone to graduate school twenty years ago; you chose not to. Do you really want to leave Jack and fall into the same old patterns?"
It was true. She could have gotten her masters before the kids were born. Why hadnt she?
Because it would have made life difficult. What if Jacks dinner had been late? Or shed had a midterm on a game night?
What if she hadnt been talented enough?
"I guess I didnt want it enough. " That much was true, at least. Shed never been good at taking big risks unless it benefitted her children. And so she was here, a woman "like her," with nothing to fall back on and nothing to reach for.
"Be bold, Birdie. Apply. Take the road you turned away from. Isnt that what this is all about?"
"Come on, Meg. Im forty-five years old and I havent painted in twenty years. Sometimes, you really dont get a second chance. " She didnt want to talk about this anymore. "I cant imagine applying for grad school on my credentials. "
Meghann was clearly disappointed. "What about painting class, then?"
Elizabeth shuddered at the thought. Sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers, pretending shed refound a lost talent? Hardly.
Meghann looked at her. "Okay, okay. Your eye is twitching. Ill change the subject. "
"Thank you. "
"How about this: I need your help. Im trying to change my slutty ways. The problem is, I need to figure out how to get turned on by a man my own age. "
Elizabeth laughed. "Start slowly. Quit dating men who say things like awesome, dude, and thats tight. "
"And make conversation? I think not. Let me tell you, Birdie. The dating pool is damned shallow out there. Youll see. My last date wiped his nose on the tablecloth at Canlis, which actually placed him on a higher evolutionary rung than the guy who blew his nose out the car window because the Kleenex box was empty. Just wait, Birdie. In about six months, the fish-gut guy will start looking hot. When you finally realize what men our age are like, give me a call. Ill talk you down from the ledge. Wait! Better yet, move up to Seattle. You could have my second bedroom. "
"I love it here, you know that. "
"Here? Its another damned planet--and an uninhabited one at that. And let me tell you, that is not an ordinary rain. Im a Seattleite; we know rain. "
Laughing, Elizabeth slipped an arm around her friends shoulders and drew her close. "The beach is beautiful. "
"When you can see it. On the way down here, I saw a group of Japanese tourists lashed together for a beach walk. Theyll probably never be found. "
"When the sun shines--"
"Twice a year. "
"Its the prettiest place on earth. You can breathe here. "
"I can breathe in Beirut. It doesnt mean I want to live there. "
The alarm on the oven beeped. Elizabeth stood up, realizing abruptly how drunk she was. Her legs felt rubbery and she couldnt feel the tips of her fingers at all. It made her giggle. "Come with me. "
Meghann crawled to her feet. "Where are we going? Dancing? I love dan--" She frowned. "What was I talking about?"
They clutched each other like eighth-grade girls, their heads cocked together, giggling. Elizabeth led Meghann through the kitchen.
At the front door, Meghann stumbled to a halt. "Outside? Its raining hard enough to put your eye out. "
"A little water wont hurt you. "