Distant Shores

zed at his beloved daughters. Jamies tight, ready-to-be-pissed expression was ruined by eyes that were already sad. And Stephanie never looked up from the hands coiled in her lap. She was like a buck private, hunkered down behind a building, waiting for the shrapnel to start flying.

The thought of telling them, of actually speaking the toxic words aloud, made him almost sick to his stomach. They would always remember that it was his voice that had torn their family apart.

He couldnt do it.

He was so deer-in-the-headlights frozen that he didnt notice when Elizabeth got up, walked around the sofa.

She was behind him now. She squeezed his shoulder, and there was a gentleness to her touch that hurt more than any punch.

"I know you guys sense that something is not normal with Dad and me," she said. Her voice was surprisingly calm.

He couldnt believe she was going to do it. Birdie. The woman who ran from conflict and couldnt make a decision to save her life . . . the woman whod stand in front of a train to spare her childrens lives.

"Thats an understatement," Jamie said mulishly. "We know Dad slept on the sofa last night. "

"People who love each other have fights, Jamie. " Stephanie looked up. "Thats all it is, right?"

Elizabeths hold on Jacks shoulders tightened. It occurred to him to reach up, to lay his hand on hers, but he was paralyzed by what was unfolding. He could barely breathe. "Its a little more than a fight," Elizabeth said evenly. "The truth is, your dad and I have separated. "

Stephanies mouth dropped open. The color faded from her cheeks. "Oh, my God. "

"I know this is difficult to hear," Elizabeth said quickly. "And were going to have to work together to get through it, but well be okay. Well always be a family, no matter what. "

"Oh, this is fucking great. Well always be a family. What a crock of shit. " Jamie shot to her feet. She was breathing hard, and Jack could see that she was close to tears. "Thats right up there with a guy asking to be just friends. It means he already has another girlfriend. "

Elizabeths grip became painful. "Honey, let us explain. "

"No way. Ive heard all I can take. "

"Listen to us, please. Your dad and I were so young when we got married," Elizabeth said.

Stephanies head shot up. "Thats your reason? Because you got married too young? I thought . . . I mean you always . . . Oh, shit. " She burst into tears.

This was ripping Jacks heart out. Nothing had ever hurt this much. Nothing. Ever. "Honey . . . " He didnt know what to say. He glanced helplessly up at Birdie. She gazed down at him; her mouth trembled. And then her beautiful face crumpled.

Jack didnt think. He leaned sideways and pulled her into his arms. "Well get through this," he whispered against her wet cheek.

He had never loved her more than he did right then. Shed been stronger in this than he could have been, and now he saw the cost of that strength. She was tearing like old cloth, coming apart in his arms.

He looked at his daughters and knew hed never forget this moment.

This was the price for every bad choice hed ever made. And of all his poor choices, none had been worse than not loving Birdie enough to fight for their marriage. "This is hard on all of us," he said. His words came slowly; he was a blind man feeling his way down a dark and twisting hallway. "But we love you. " He glanced at Birdie, did his damnedest not to cry. "And we love each other. For now, thats all we know. You guys can either help us through this, or you can be angry and shut us out. Youre adults. We cant control you anymore. " His voice almost broke. "But we need you now--both of us do. Maybe more than we ever have. We need to be a family. "

That took the wind out of Jamies sail. The anger seeped out of her; without it, she crumpled to her knees, whispering something Jack couldnt hear.

Elizabeth slid to the floor beside her. "My girls," she whispered.

Jamie and Stephanie launched themselves at her. The three of them clung together, crying.

Jack stared down at them longingly. He wanted to join them, to for once be part of that inner circle, but he couldnt move. Theyd always been a trio first, a family second.

It was Jamie who looked up at him first. Jamie, his warrior princess, whose face was ravaged now by pain. "Daddy," was all she said, reaching out.

She hadnt called him that in years.

Elizabeth reached behind her, felt around for Jacks hand. When she found it, she squeezed hard.

He slid off the sofa to his knees and took them all in his arms.