Distant Shores

"Thats for sure," Jamie said, reaching for the door handle. "We want to get the hell out of this state. "

Stephanie threw Jack a sympathetic look, then followed her sister out of the car. They didnt wait for Jack. Instead, they bolted for the terminal, walking so fast it looked as if they were fleeing a crime scene. Through the endless security checks, neither girl looked at him.

With a sigh, Jack followed them.

At the gate, they were forced to stop. Jamie finally turned to him. For a single second, their gazes met and her armor weakened. In her blue eyes, he saw a pain so raw and deep it rocked him back. She was hurting so damned much . . .

And he and Birdie had caused it. An ache spread through his heart, a combination of guilt and shame and regret. Regret most of all.

"Jamie," he said, moving toward her, hands outstretched.

"You do not want to touch me right now," she said loudly, stepping away from him.

He knew then the truth of a broken heart; it wasnt some poetic metaphor. It was muscle and sinew tearing away from bone. It hurt more than any blown knee ever could. "Im sorry, Jamie. Were sorry. "

Jamies face crumpled. She appeared unsteady on her feet. "Bite me. " She turned and stomped away from him. Even after shed reached the Jetway door and stopped, she didnt look back.

"You know Jamie," Stephanie said, "when she gets scared, she gets pissed off. "

Jack wanted to say, Im scared, too, but he didnt know how to be that honest with his daughters. It was his job to be the familys strength. "I guess were all scared. "

Stephanie was doing her best not to cry. It was a terrible thing for a father to watch. His Stephie, always so strong, looking as if she were held together by old Scotch tape. "Its like discovering one day that youre schizophrenic. Everything youve believed in is suddenly suspect. I dont know how to live in a world where our family is broken up. "

"Keep believing in all of us, Steph. Someday youll understand. Mom and I have been together since we were your age. Thats a long time. Things . . . pile up between people. But were not even talking about divorce. "

Stephanie gave him a pathetically hopeful look. "We thought you were lying about that. "

"No. Were just taking a little breathing room; thats all for now. "

"Oh. "

In the background, a voice came over the loudspeaker, announced the boarding of flight 967.

Jack glanced over at Jamie. Her back was to him. Even from this distance, he could see how stiff she was.

Poor Jamie. Always so terrified of bending. She was probably tearing apart inside, but she wouldnt show it. "Take care of your sister. She acts tough . . . " He couldnt go on. He remembered the day Jamie had broken her arm. All the way to the doctors office, shed sat stoically silent. It hadnt been until late that night, in her dark bedroom with its Big Bird nightlight that shed finally cried. Shed curled into Jacks arms and whispered, It hurts, Daddy.

Back then, all hed had to do was stroke her hair and tell her a bedtime story.

"Shes really pissed off at you and Mom. Did you see her at the house? She wouldnt even let Mom ride to the airport with us. Ive never seen her so mad. "

"I wonder how long she can avoid talking to us. "

"Jamie? How long until the polar ice cap melts?"

"Take care of her. And of yourself. I love you, Stephie. "

Stephanie looked up at him. "Be honest with us, Daddy, okay? If its time for us to stop hoping, tell us. "

"I promise. " He saw by the look on her face that hed said the wrong thing. Of course. In the past, his promises hadnt meant much. It was a

nother change hed have to make in the future.

They called the flight again.

"Come on, Stephanie!" Jamie yelled, waving her sister over.

"Bye, Dad. " Stephanie shouldered her carry-on bag and hurried toward Jamie. They both boarded the plane without a backward glance.