Waiting for the Moon
Page 48
Anxiety rustled the hairs at the back of Selena's neck. She frowned and pushed up to her elbows. "Maeve?"
Once again, there was no sign of recognition, no glance or touch or sound that indicated a response. Her face was downcast, but even so, Selena could see Maeve's moist hazel eyes. A glistening droplet clung to her pale lashes and stubbornly refused to fall.
Selena glanced down, saw the patch of moistness on
117
Maeve's gown, a seeping darker patch on the white lawn of her nightdress. The place where tears fell.
Maeve reached out, stroked Selena's cheek again. Her touch was soft and comforting, her skin papery and dry. Slowly, in a trembling voice, she started to sing quietly, "Hush little baby, don't say a word. Mama . .." Her voice cracked. Tears filled her eyes and slipped down her hollow cheeks, dropped on her hands. She drew her hand back, let it fall in her lap. "Mama .. . can't do anything, can she? No ..."
Selena heard an incredible pain in her friend's voice, a sadness that seemed to parch the woman's spirit. Last night Maeve had been laughing and happy; tonight, somehow, she'd fallen into darkness.
Selena knew how that felt, to fall inside yourself and be trapped. "You will .. ." She searched for the words. Find a way "Out."
Maeve brought a pale finger to her lips. "Sshh, little boy." She shook her head. The single tear streaked down to her lap, melted into the wet patch of lawn.
Selena did the only thing she could think of, the thing that she would want someone to do for her. She shifted sideways in the bed and flipped the coverlet back in invitation. ". .. Maeve ... sleep."
Maeve looked up. For a split second, the confusion in her gaze dissipated, and Selena saw the raw need that lay beneath.
"Sleep." Maeve sighed and shook her head.
Selena patted the mattress beside her, wishing desperately that she could find the words to ease Maeve's pain. But she couldn't find them, if such words even existed. Instead, she said the only word that came to her, made the only offer she could think of. "Sleep."
Maeve pushed to her feet. The wooden stool crashed to the floor beside her, but she seemed not to notice. The vague, glassy look returned to her eyes. She stared through Selena as if she were invisible.
"Your father should be home now." She leaned for-
118
ward and pressed a warm, moist kiss to Selena's forehead. "Sleep well, my child."
"Good . .. night, Maeve."
Maeve stiffened and drew back. "No good ones," she whispered, tears springing to her eyes once more. Wrapping the silver strand more tightly through her fingers, she walked away and closed the door behind her.
Selena stared at the door for a long, long time, unable to fall asleep again. She remembered the black place she'd been in when she couldn't wake up, the swirling mists of pain and fear that clung like a shroud to her body. She'd heard Ian's voice then, and that had been enough, a lifeline between the world of darkness and the light that lay beyond. Knowing that he was out there, that he cared, had pulled her through. It pulled her through even now, kept her reaching forward.
She wondered if Maeve had a voice in the dark silence.
Strangely, Selena thought that the old woman did not, that perhaps she was even more alone than Selena. Else why would Maeve be here in the middle of the night, alone, her nightdress stained with silvery tears?
Maybe only Selena knew what the darkness felt like, knew how cold and lonely it felt to be lost inside yourself. If that was true, then only she could help Maeve.
Selena felt the first tug of a smile.
She could help Maeve the way Ian had helped her.
And maybe then they'd both feel less alone.
Whack. Whack. Whack.
Selena came awake slowly. At first she thought the strange, pounding beat was in her head, some remnant from another unremembered dream, but gradually she realized that the noise was real.
She pressed up to her elbows and scanned the room quickly, noticing the chair and commode were in their rightful places. The limp white curtains shimmied against the plaster wall.
119