Waiting for the Moon

Slowly Ian turned to look at Selena. She stood beside him, close enough to touch, close enough to kiss, and yet there was a stiffness to her that kept him away.

"I knew you would do the right thing," she said softly, giving him a sad smile. "I know you did."

The stiff, awkward words made no sense. It wasn't what they should be saying to each other right now. He gazed down at her.

She broke eye contact and looked down at her husband.

Ian forced himself not to move, not to touch her. Did you miss me, goddess? He wanted desperately to ask

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the question, but he didn't dare. He didn't think he could bear her answer.

Finally she turned, looked up at Ian for a long, long time.

And the silence broke his heart.

Chapter Twenty-seven

Selena stood in the corner of the bedroom, huddled in the shadows, watching Ian battle to save Elliot's life. Sounds reverberated through the air-the ping of steel instruments hitting the metal tray, Elliot's quiet moans, the labored gusts of Ian's breathing, the harsh timbre of his voice as he snarled orders to Andrew.

The tension was so thick, it was palpable.

Over and over again, her mind replayed images of her return, coming always back to the first time she'd looked at Ian, the first time she'd said his name. It had taken everything she had inside, strength she hadn't even known she'd developed, to remain silent.

The images remained, stabbed deep into the tender region of her heart. Oh, Lord, what she had asked of him, both in words and in silence. Save him, Ian. Save him so I can leave you again.

It still hurt, hours after she'd done it. She wanted to go to Ian now, slip her arms around his waist and bury her face in the soft lawn of his shirt, to breathe in the familiar scent of him, feel the silky softness of his hair through her fingers. But she was afraid, so afraid, that if she touched him-just once-she'd fall apart. And this time there would be no recovery, no strand of hope that would sustain them both. This time she knew the life that honor required of her, and it was only half a life. She wasn't sure she could do it again, wasn't sure

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she could climb into that wagon and leave this warm, loving place and return to the village.

In fact, she was certain that she couldn't. Yet she must.

And what if Ian saw the truth in her eyes? It would kill him to know that she was unhappy in the Believer village, to know that she'd left his arms for a sterile, regimented life. She could never tell him about her life with Elliot. Never.

Ian peeled off the thin rubber gloves he'd worn to clean Elliot's wound and dropped them onto the bloodstained tray. "I've done all I can. Now it's up to him."

Across the bed, Selena looked up. He saw a flash of pain in her eyes, raw and mesmerizing in its intensity. Then she quickly dropped her gaze, stared at her own hand, wrapped so tightly around Elliot's big, scarred one.

Though the room was full of people, it was eerily silent. Each of the inmates stood stiff and motionless, their gazes darting from Selena to Elliot to Ian and back again. They'd crept back in, one by one, to stand in proximity to their goddess. But none of them, not even Johann, had dared to speak in the last few minutes.

Ian watched Selena, saw the stiffness in her shoulders, the defiant tilt of her chin, the way she kept squeezing Elliot's hand.

It hurt, all of it hurt, the soft murmur of her voice, the pale creaminess of her skin, the tired resignation in her eyes. Something about her was different; it had bothered him all evening. Every time he drew back from his patient, he'd looked at her, kept hoping she'd look up and meet his eyes, but she never did. Finally, after a while, she'd let go of Elliot's hand and backed into the shadowy corner.

All it had taken to draw her back was a whimper of pain. Elliot's agonized moan slipped into the room and she followed it, surging toward him, murmuring soft

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nothings, smoothing the sweaty hair from his brow until he stilled again.

Now Elliot was quiet, the wound was cli

pped and cleaned and soaked in carbolic acid, the bandages were new.