Between Sisters

“I know you do. That’s never been the issue, has it?”

“We have nothing in common. It doesn’t mean I want to see her throw her life away. ”

“Oh, I think you have something in common. You lived together for nine years. That’s a lot of shared memories. I get the feeling that you used to be best friends. ”

“Before I dumped her off with a man she barely knew and then ran away? Yeah. We were best friends before that. But Claire wanted a daddy, and once she got one . . . well . . . ” Meghann glanced at the intricately cast crystal desk clock. It was 4:00. “It’ll take me almost two hours to reach Hayden at this time of day. Our traffic is just terrible, don’t you think? If we would elect a mayor instead of—”

“Meg. Don’t go off on one of your rants. Today is important. Claire may harbor certain animosities against you. ”

“I’ve told you she does. ”

“And yet you’re going to race up to Hayden in your expensive car and butt into her life. ”

“I’d characterize my involvement as saving her from herself. Just handing out some obviously overlooked information. ”

“Do you think she’ll appreciate your help?”

Meghann winced. Claire would probably not be pleased. Some people had trouble accepting certain facts. “I’ll be pleasant about it. ”

“You’ll pleasantly tell her that she shouldn’t marry a singer with no real prospects. ”

“Yes. I know I can be abrasive at times, and opinionated to the point of oppression, but this time I intend to choose my words carefully. I won’t say loser or gold digger or stupid. She’ll be hurt, but she’ll see that I’m only trying to look out for her. ”

Harriet seemed to wait an inordinately long time before she asked, “Do you remember how love feels?”

Meghann couldn’t follow the segue, but she was glad to quit talking about Claire. “I married Eric, didn’t I?” Number two on the hit parade of bad decisions.

“What do you remember about your marriage to Eric?”

“The end of it. I’ve had headaches that lasted longer than my marriage. ”

“Why did it end?”

“You know this. He cheated on me. With most of the Seahawks’ cheerleaders and half the wait staff at the Bellevue Hooters. He was absolutely ardent in his pursuit of silicone. If only he’d shown so much drive in his career. ”

“Do you remember when he proposed?”

Meghann sighed. She didn’t want to think about that day. It had all happened so long ago. The candlelit room, the trail of white rose petals that led to the king-size bed, the music coming from another room, a soft, instrumental version of Air Supply’s “All Out of Love” that was playing on the radio. “I proposed to him, if you must know. I’ve never been good at waiting, and it took Eric an hour to pick out a pair of socks. ”

Harriet looked pained. “Meghann. ”

“What?”

“Why don’t you try that story again? My memory is not as poor as you’d like to think. ”

Meghann looked down at her fingernails. For years she’d told stories about Eric’s infidelities. The remark about his ardent pursuit of silicone always got a laugh. It was better that way, she’d learned; better to think of him as a villain. The truth hurt too much. Even Elizabeth didn’t know what had really happened in Meghann’s marriage. But now, somehow, Harriet had ferreted out the facts. “I don’t want to talk about this. ”

“Of course you don’t,” Harriet said gently. “That’s why you should. ”

Meghann released her breath slowly. “He didn’t go after waitresses. Not as far as I know, anyway. He was faithful to me . . . until he met Nancy. ” She closed her eyes, remembering that terrible day when he’d come home crying. I can’t do it anymore, Meg. You’re killing me. Nothing I do is good enough for you. And your love . . . it’s a cold place.

And then, just when she’d felt the start of her own tears and tasted the desperate plea in her mouth, he said, I’ve met someone. She loves who I am, not who I could be if I were more ambitious. And . . . she’s pregnant.

The memories twisted Meghann’s insides, made her feel needy and weak. She couldn’t hold it all inside anymore. “It was so romantic,” she said softly. “The night he proposed to me. The white rose petals were true. So was the music. He poured a glass of champagne and told me that I was his whole world, that he wanted to love me forever and be the father of my children. I cried when he said it. ” She wiped her eyes of tears that should have dried long ago. “I should have known how fragile love was, given my family history, but I was reckless. I handled a glass bubble as if it were made of steel. I couldn’t believe how quickly it broke. He left because I didn’t know how to love him enough. ” On that, her voice cracked. “You can’t blame him. ”

“So, you did love him. ”

“Oh, I loved him,” Meghann said quietly, feeling the dormant pain well up and become fresh again.