“When did I stop? Crying, I mean. ”
“Junior year. By then, it was too late to ask. When you married Eric, I thought—I hoped—you’d finally be happy. ”
“That was a long time ago. ”
“I’ve waited for you to meet someone else, try again. ”
Meghann poured two more straight shots. Downing hers, she leaned back against the railing. Cool night air ruffled the fine hairs around her face. The sound of traffic drifted toward her. “I have . . . met someone. ”
“What’s his name?”
“Joe. I don’t even know his last name. How pathetic is that?”
“I thought you liked sex with strangers. ”
Meghann heard how hard Elizabeth was trying not to sound judgmental. “I like being in control and waking up alone and having my life exactly the way I want it. ”
“So what’s the problem?”
Meghann felt that wave again, the feeling of being sucked under a heavy current. “Being in control . . . and waking up alone and having my life exactly the way I want it. ”
“So this Joe made you feel something. ”
“Maybe. ”
“I assume you haven’t seen him since you realized that. ”
“Am I so obvious?”
Elizabeth laughed. “Just a little. This Joe scared you, so you ran. Tell me I’m wrong. ”
“You’re a bitch, how’s that?”
“A bitch who’s right-on. ”
“Yeah. That kind of bitch. The worst kind. ”
“Do you remember my birthday last year?”
“Everything up until the third martini. After that, it gets fuzzy. ”
“I told you I didn’t know if I loved Jack anymore. You told me to stay with him. Mentioned something about me losing everything and him marrying the salad-bar girl from Hooters. ”
Meghann rolled her eyes. “Another shining example of my humanity. You talk about love; I answer in settlement. I’m so proud. ”
“The point is, I was dying in my marriage. All the lies I’d been telling myself for years had worn thin. Everything poked through and hurt me. ”
“But it worked out. You and Jacko are like newlyweds again. It’s frankly disgusting. ”
“Do you know how I fell back in love with him?”
“Medication?”
“I did the thing that scared me the most. ”
“You left him. ”
“I had never lived alone, Meg. Never. I was so scared of not having Jack, I couldn’t breathe at first. But I did it—and you were there for me. That night you came down to the beach house, you literally saved my life. ”