“I haven’t gone bad. In fact I don’t even think that we’re going to see each other again.”
“Why not?”
“I let Jessica get into my head. I asked him for money when he brought me home. Then I told Jessica about how bad I felt afterwards, and she started going on about how men use women all the time. I was so hurt because I could see the disappointed look on his face when I asked him. I ruined an amazing date by being a gold digger. But then again, I don’t know, maybe Jessica is right. She’s had more experience than me in this arena. What if sex was all he wanted and he planned on dropping me, anyway?”
Jaime stared at me intently as I gave my confused monologue. She had a look of disgust on her face.
“What are you looking at me like that? I asked.
“You don’t even want to know.”
“Say it, because you’re going to say it anyway. Just know that I feel bad enough already. I don’t need the extra guilt.”
“I don’t want you to be offended but your girl Jessica is a big ass hoe. That chick clearly has issues when it comes to men. She shouldn’t be tainting you and trying to make you be like her. If she were any kind of friend, she wouldn’t be giving you that horrible ass advice. If you don’t want to end up used and abused, you need to stop listening to her. You should’ve enjoyed your date with Vince and left it at that. He showed you a wonderful time and you had sex that you both enjoyed. So tell me why you deserve to get paid for it unless you’re a whore?”
Her words stung as she spat them. I hated to hear them but they rang true for me.
“You’re right.” I sighed, “None of this probably matters anyway. I think I messed things up beyond repair. I doubt if he will ever want to see me again.”
>
“I think you’re correct, but if he does ask you out again, don’t mention any money. Just be grateful that you have a nice guy that treats you well. They’re very rare these days and you need to appreciate them.”
I fought an eye roll because I was torn between my friends. I felt that they both had good points. I wasn’t sure what to think. I felt more confused than ever.
*
A few days passed. They were monotonous and I had to squeeze in those extra hours. I hated missing class but I didn’t have much choice. I stayed busy and I was grateful for it because it kept my mind off Vince. What I hated the most is when I was left alone with my thoughts at night.
Each night I had to fight the urge to contact Vince. If he wanted to talk to me then he would have called me.
“Hey, do you have those files for me?” My boss asked when he came to my cubicle.
“I do.” I said when I handed him a folder from my desk.
“You’re awesome. Thank you for putting in the extra hours like a champ. When this blows over, I’d like to talk to you about your future with the company.”
“Yes, sir.” I said feeling giddy.
I watched him walk away with a big goofy grin on my face. I was hoping for a job offer but I would settle for minimum wage at that point. I hummed a little tune as I continued to compile data. My phone buzzing interrupted my song. I looked at the phone and saw it was Vince. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to answer it, but I made it my personal policy to never answer the phone in public at work. I quickly got up from my desk and went to the bathroom. I missed his call and I called him back.
“Hello?”
“Hey doll, how are you?”
He sounded pretty laid back over the phone and not nearly as upset as I thought he would be.
“Umm I’m doing okay.” I said in relief. I was happy to hear his voice again.
“That’s good to hear. Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No.” I lied, “Well yes… I’m at work but I’m happy that you called.”
“Really? Why is that?”
“ I wanted to apologize about the whole money situation. I didn’t mean to...”
“Don’t worry about it.” He cut me off, “Are you free this weekend? I have an important networking event and I kind of need someone beautiful on my arm. You were the first woman that popped into my head.”