A Baby of Convenience

“You don’t have to apologize for every new development this pregnancy puts me through, Neal. I agreed, remember?”

“Still,” Neal said, “I asked a lot of you.”

“It’s a fair trade,” Elena said, wondering if she meant that or not.

Neal was thinking along those same lines. He saw the uncertainty on her face. It was becoming easier and easier for him to read her. He found a strange repose in knowing a person that well. He had never really had that with anyone since his mother had died. Not even with George.

“Neal?”

“Hmm?”

“You’ll look after this baby, right?” Elena asked shakily.

Neal’s eyes snapped up to hers.

“Of course I will,” he said, “it’s my child.”

“But you can’t ever let on that it’s your child, can you?”

Neal nodded slowly. She was right, he would always have to pretend. He would have to live a lie, and make his child live a lie, too.

“No, I can’t,” he agreed.

“It’s going to be hard.”

“Yes, it is.” He frowned.

“I know you’ll be a good father slash uncle,” Elena said, trying to keep her tone light, but struggling with the emotion just beneath the surface. I need to know that this kid will be OK. I need to know that.”

Elena felt the lump of emotion rise up in her throat, until she had to break off mid-sentence. Neal wrapped his arms around her.

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said soothingly. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure this child grows up happy and healthy.”

“And kind and honest,” Elena added quickly.

Neal chuckled. “And kind and honest,” he agreed.

“I just want her – or him, to be happy, you know. I guess I want that assurance from you if I’m not around to make sure of it myself.”

“Elena,” Neal said seriously, “if you want to be a part of this child’s life, you can be.”

“That wasn’t part of our deal,” she said.

“Screw our deal,” Neal said vehemently. “I won’t ever be able to claim this child, but you can, and if you do, at least our baby will have one true parent.”

Elena felt a tingle when he said the words “our baby.” She wanted it to be more than just the words, though. She wanted it to be real. She wasn’t sure if her sudden sentimentality was just her or her hormones. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

“I don’t really know what I want at the moment,” Elena admitted honestly.

“That’s OK,” Neal said kindly, “you have time to figure it out.”

“I have till the baby comes.”

“I think you’ll know by then,” said Neal, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Elena relaxed into his embrace. She missed the intimacy she had shared with him before her pregnancy. Neal missed the same. They lingered together, on the floor outside the bathroom, unwilling to move and break the hold they had on one another. Both had hoped it would get easier as time wore on, but it only seemed to get harder.

After it had been confirmed that Elena was, in fact, pregnant, neither one had made any mention of her leaving Neal’s house. Neal made subtle hints that he would like her to stick around and Elena caught them gratefully. There wasn’t anything significant holding her back from moving into her own apartment once again. It was the simple fact that both Elena and Neal knew that their time together would come to a close soon. They didn’t want to part ways before they absolutely had to.