“If this is, I told you, it was a stupid decision. I was selfish and only sought to protect myself.”
“That’s damn right, you’re selfish.”
“You have every right to be made at me, you have every right to send me away—”
“Take back your money. I didn’t touch any of it.”
“Money is a trivial thing.”
“Of course it is for you! You know why I’m angry? I’m angry because I believed in you, I’m angry because I put so much hope into you, thinking you just might have that shred of real kindness in you for me—”
“It’s there. You have all of me!” his voice rose. “I’m not the expressive type so this must be coming out wrong.”
“You were wrong from day one. I shouldn’t have ever allowed that first dinner. You were manipulative from the very start and I didn’t see that—”
“I only wanted to keep you.”
“Like an object? Like you owned me. I told you before, just because you’ve got that contract doesn’t mean you own me. And you know what the worst thing is, I allowed it to happen. I lost my pride, I lost my freedom for you. I couldn’t date other people because you didn’t want me to, even if I only wanted you.”
He remembered the flirting at the hotel and how he hated it. He didn’t want anyone else near her. “So what if I’m selfish? I wanted you in my life, I still want you now.”
“You think it’s that easy to forgive you, huh?” Mikaela looked up with tears in her eyes. “You come back here, all dramatic, with a speech ready? And you think I’ll be the same idiot I was five days ago?”
“I’m inclined to say yes but I know you’ll take it against me. And you’re not an idiot. I saw something in you. You stood out from the crowd. You in your blue dress and those heels. And that smile. Who could forget that smile? I didn’t forget it the moment I saw it in the coffee shop. And you want to know another thing? I kissed you in your sleep.”
“I know,” she said, unable to control a few tears.
“You know?” he looked surprised.
She looked embarrassed but soldiered on. “I was looking at you while you were asleep. It was something that had never happened before, you actually sleeping beside me.”
“I meant for that. I didn’t want to leave right away.” He remembered it well. He saw her lying there, and he couldn’t resist the urge to leave without kissing her cheek at least.
“You wanted to stay?”
He nodded. “I allowed that to happen. I wasn’t too afraid, maybe it was because it was just the two of us. No one else could see. But even if I allowed that, I still didn’t want to seem vulnerable. Love isn’t a weakness, but I’ve learned to keep away from it, except when its family. You -- you’re the first person to do this to me. You screwed me over and you screwed me good.”
Mikaela took a step back away from him. “Justin, I’m tired. I know it’s been only two months and a week since this whole disaster, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m too traumatized from this, from you. I humiliated myself, I did things I never thought I’d do, all because I wanted you to like me. I didn’t expect it would go beyond that, I didn’t expect I’d fall for you.”
“It worked, Mikaela. Who wouldn’t fall in love with you? Who wouldn’t want to be with you? That smile alone snagged me. I tried to stay away, but no, I can’t, I couldn’t.”
Her heart pounded, that same feeling she felt seeing him sleep beside her ever so soundly. That same feeling she felt when he smiled at her as she persistently asked questions.
Justin looked at her, knowing she was still debating about this whole scenario. “Mikaela, you make me feel like I’m on top of the world, like I’ve stepped up my game. When you left, Louisa called me. She dropped so many hints about you, it was clear they wanted you for me, and she was trying to tell me that. That I wanted you and I was in denial. I guess I’m an idiot for relying on practicality too much. There is not practicality when it comes to love, it was something I wasn’t used to. I had wanted to be rational, but you make me irrational.
“I’ve known you less than three months, and you told me earlier it isn’t about the time. You’re right, it isn’t. And it’s strange to fall for you when I prided myself on never doing that. I guess there’s a first for everything, and for that I’m glad.”
She blinked and looked at him, her tears began to dry on her cheeks. “You are?”
“You were quite persistent,” he smiled at her.
“I don’t think I still will be.”
“I’m asking for a chance.”
“At what? Forgiveness?”
“A shot with you.”