much I don’t know, and you have to tell me! What’s going on? What happened?” Jamie pressed adamantly.
With a sigh, Eva’s shoulders drooped, and she bit at her lower lip, eyeing her best friend carefully. “Well, there’s been a little bit of a change… some unexpected things have happened.”
Jamie’s mouth fell open a little bit. “What things? What happened? You said that the two of you had a fantastic time on the island! What changed?”
Eva lifted her hand up and rubbed her temple on one side of her head as she grimaced. “Well… if I’m being totally honest with you… he’s engaged,” she said quietly.
Jamie gaped, and her eyes went so wide that they were more white than dark brown. A hushed gasp escaped her, and she touched her fingertips to her mouth as if to hush herself from a loud reaction. “No…” she whispered. “That…. that can’t be…”
Eva sighed. “Yeah, it can be. It’s kind of crazy how it all happened, really. I didn’t even know she was around before now. He doesn’t get calls from her, he doesn’t talk about her, they don’t do anything together, and they live apart. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. He’s not in love with her or anything. I guess his father and her father have been friends forever, and his father wanted him to marry her so that their families would be together, but then his dad died, and now he’s left with all this guilt and this ‘legacy marriage’ that he’s supposed to have in order to fulfill his father’s big dying request. I guess her dad is anxious for it to happen, too. He was in on it all along.”
Jamie tilted her head a little as her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Was he engaged while you two were in the Bahamas?”
Eva didn’t speak, she only nodded slightly, until her voice sounded, but it was quiet when she did. “He was. I know he should have told me. I wouldn’t have done with him what we did if I had known that he was engaged to marry someone else. Unfortunately, he didn’t think to mention it because he said he doesn’t really feel engaged… he doesn’t think of her that way. It’s basically a business deal for him, and there’s no romance at all for him, as far as he’s concerned. He’s just doing it to fulfill his dad’s wishes, and they didn’t even talk about it until right before the trip. They weren’t even dating then. They were just friends, and then he had to ask her to marry him.”
Jamie frowned sharply. “You think that makes this okay? You think he can just conveniently forget to tell you that he asked another woman to spend the rest of his life with him as his wife right before he goes on vacation with you on a tropical island? No way, sister! No way! That’s wrong. That’s like a hundred different levels of wrong! I can’t even believe he did that! And you! You… poor thing, so attracted to him, and he knows it, and it feeds his massive pig-headed ego, and you’re trapped there because what are you going to do, tell him no? No, you wouldn’t. You’re working for him. He’s signing your paychecks. Of course you’re going to go with whatever he wants to do; this is the best job you’ve ever had, and he knows how much you want him! You’re the easiest game he’s ever played! What are you thinking?”
Eva knitted her brow. “I’m thinking that I’m an adult woman who knows what she wants, and who can make her own choices about her life and what she does with her life. I’m thinking that he’s been honest about it all, he doesn’t love her, he doesn’t want her, and he’s stuck marrying her because of his father. Hell, for all I know, I’m the last good time he’s ever going to have for the rest of his life!”
“Yeah right!” Jamie scowled. “Because he’d never cheat on his wife again the way he cheated on her during their brand new engagement! His morals are better than that! He’d never do anything like it again, I’m sure! Once with you was enough for him!” She frowned and leveled her eyes at Eva.
“Did you sleep with him after you found out that he was engaged to this Miss What’sHisDaughter woman?” Her voice was low and filled with disgust.
Eva knew she had it coming. She’d done something that she never should have. “Yes, I did. Actually, right after I found out about her and he told me the whole story about how he became engaged to her. It happened in his office, and I don’t regret it. We both said that it was the last time, and we both meant it. It’s strictly business from here on out. No other shenanigans. Straight down the line.”
Jamie shook her head slowly in disbelief. “Right. Straight down the line, my foot. You like him. In fact,” she leaned forward and pointed her finger at her best friend with an accusatory edge, “I think you like him so much that you might even love him! Do you? Do you love him?!” she snapped as lines formed downward from her mouth.
Eva looked away from her. She couldn’t speak for a moment. She was too busy digesting what Jamie had accused her of. She knew that her best friend wasn’t wrong. No one knew her as well as Jamie. No one had been privy to the secrets of her life the way that Jamie had. She was stuck, and she knew it. Quietly, she spoke, answering Jamie’s accusation, and she turned and raised her eyes to meet her friend’s.
“You know what… you’re right. I wish I could say that you weren’t right, but I know you are. I do care about him. I care about him a lot. I love the way he smiles and laughs; I love the way he watches me, like when I walk into the room the rest of the whole universe just falls away. I love the way that he treats me; he has so much faith in me, he trusts me, and he believes in me. I love the way that he loves to spoil me and surprise me. Do you know he even made me a scrambled egg breakfast the first morning we were on the island? He did… that billionaire got up out of our bed and went into the kitchen, and I thought he was making coffee. He didn’t just make coffee. He made an entire breakfast for us. I matter to him in so many ways, and I know that because he makes sure that I know it. Because he treats me like I matter to him in all of those ways, all the time, and I don’t want to give that up. Ever… if I’m being totally honest. I never want to give it up.”
“Well, you’re going to have to because he’s going to spend the rest of his life with another woman,” Jamie replied dryly. “I’m not trying to pee in your Cheerios, but you have to face facts. You have to face the truth, Eva. If you meant half as much to him as you say you do, half as much as you believe that you do, he wouldn’t be engaged to anyone else. He’d be with you. Did he break that engagement off?” she demanded.
Eva shook her head. His reasoning was logical in her mind, but it did nothing to still the sad stirring in her heart. “No. He didn’t. He said that he has to do it. He feels compelled to do it because it’s what his father wanted him to do.”
Jamie pointed her red tapered nail toward Eva, a serious look darkening her face. “He’s a grown man, Eva, and he has a choice about whom he’s with. He doesn’t have to marry her. If he was really into you, he would not try to have you both. He’s using you. That’s all there is to it. He’s been using you, and he’s marrying her, and that should be enough to make you totally forget about him.”
Leaning back against the booth seat, Eva’s shoulders slumped some, and she pursed her lips for a moment. “I know that. I know it. It is over between us. We just had one last… time together. We both swore that that was it and that there wasn’t going to be anything else. We mean it. I’m not upset that we did anything, and I don’t regret it. I’d have done it again just the same if I had known because I know he doesn’t love her or even want her. It’s a business transaction. He cares for me. I know he does, and I care for him. We just… aren’t lucky with the timing.”
“No!” Jamie shook her head. “Honey, that’s not it at all. He was already engaged to her, and he had an affair with you anyway! That’s using you. I think you need to try to get over him. You have to. He’s going to marry her, and what are you going to do? Keep working for him and carry a torch for a married man who was willing to cheat on his fiancé with his secretary? That’s not the kind of man you want to be with. You need to be with a guy who puts you first, who cares about you, who makes you the biggest priority of his life, and who wants you just as muc
h as you want him. That’s who you need to be with, and you need to let this jackass go. That’s no place for your head and your heart to go. You’re going to wind up with a broken heart and no one to blame but yourself if you’re willing to let it go any further. Think about that, and make yourself and your heart a priority.”
Eva turned and looked out of the window and the clouds set against the beautiful blue sky outside. “I know you’re right. I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I can do it because I do care about him. I think I’m falling for him. I can’t stop thinking about him, I can’t stop wanting to be around him, and now I can’t stop wishing that he was with me just about all the time. You’re right. I know you’re right, and if I’m not careful, I will wind up being brokenhearted.”
Eva took a long drink of her coffee and set the cup down thoughtfully.
Jamie sighed and sat back in her own seat, her tirade done. “Well, at least you know what you’re getting into. Are you going to stay there and work for him, even after he marries her?”
Eva hadn’t thought about it. She hadn’t given any thought at all to what it might be like to work for him after he got married, having just had a torrid and steaming affair with him, which she still hadn’t cooled off from. “I don’t know. I guess so. I want to stay there; he’s a great boss, and it’s a fantastic job, and I wouldn’t want to leave. I’d want to stay there for as long as I can… if it’s not too taxing on my heart. I think I’ll be okay. I just have to get my feelings all sorted out… you know, get rid of the crush on him. We’ll be fine. We get along amazingly. I hope it’ll be alright. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to lose my incredible apartment, and I would never be able to afford it without this job. I better get it figured out. I’ll be okay.”
Jamie stared at her and began to shake her head slowly. “Sure you will,” she said in a quiet voice. “I’m not trying to depress you or anything, but it seems like all of these things needed to be said. You have to think about them and consider what is coming down the road for you.”
“I know what you mean, and I know what you’re doing and why. I know it’s because you love me. I love you, too. I appreciate it, I do… it’s just not easy to hear, and it’s even harder to try to think about. It’ll work out. It has to,” Eva answered with a somber expression.
“Well, enough about that. Let me get you all caught up on what’s going on at school!” Jamie told her with a smile and a new light in her eyes. She was a good one for a conversation distraction when things got awkward, and she tried to steer the conversation in another direction.
They visited for a long while, and neither of them mentioned Derrick again, but he stayed on Eva’s mind all through the visit and long after it, all through the evening into the moments when Eva was trying to fall asleep on her pillow. The thoughts stayed with her as she dreamed, and when dawn woke her the next morning, everything that Jamie had said was still on her mind.