Never Have A Baller's Baby

He looked down and considered what she said. He knew what she was saying to him. He guessed that there were probably people around her and that she couldn’t speak as plainly as he wanted to. “Naomi, I know things didn’t end well the last time that you were here, but I miss you and I want to see you! Please reconsider. Please think about this!”

She had been thinking about it. She had thought about it much more often and more intently than she had wanted to. “I have given it considerable thought,” she answered him. “I think the only viable option is for me to work there while you’re not home, and complete the job as soon as possible.” She was trying to get her point across while being discreet around Keisha and Malaika.

He sighed in frustration. He knew that she meant it. “So there’s no changing this and going back to what we had?” he asked with the last shred of hope in him for her.

“No, I don’t see how that would be possible,” she answered. “Unless you change your position on the subject we last discussed.”

Scott knew that she meant taking her out in public. “I already explained that to you. I can’t do that. I had hoped that you would see my side of that.”

“And I hoped that you would see mine. We’re at an impasse. I will finish the work on your home while you’re not there. Please email a schedule to me stating when the home will be vacant for me to come finish working. Thank you for your call.” She held her ground, though it was difficult for her.

He was silent for a long moment. “All right. You win. That’s what we’ll do. Thanks for taking the call.” He hung up and Naomi made herself hang up, telling herself that it really was the best possible thing, no matter that it felt like the worst thing in the world to her.

Later that day she received an email from him, listing dates and times when he would not be at the house and she could go there to finish her work. It broke her heart to see it so plain and simple, but there was really no way around it. She was going to finish decorating his house, and she was not going to be with him again, because she wasn’t going to let herself be used.

***

Days that felt like eternity turned into weeks, and before Naomi knew it, those weeks turned into a month. She hadn’t been feeling well, and she seemed to be more tired than she could remember being since college. Hoping that she hadn’t

come down with anything, she went to the doctor to have tests run to see what was going on with her. She was in no way prepared for the answer he gave to her.

“You’re pregnant,” he advised with a wide smile.

She stared back at him and everything in her slowed to a halt. “I’m… I’m what?”

“You’re pregnant…” he answered again, as his smile faded. “I take it this was an unexpected pregnancy?”

She nodded almost as if she was in a trance. “Unexpected… yes.”

“Do you need any information on counseling or anything else?” he asked her sympathetically.

She shook her head and looked away from the older man. “No, I think I just need some time alone to think about this.”

“Of course. Use the room as long as you need to. We’ll be out in the hallway if you need any help,” he said kindly, and he left her alone.

Naomi erupted in emotion; tears spilled from her eyes, her heart pounded, and her body began to tremble and shake from the shock of it. She couldn’t believe it. As she sat there trying to make it make sense to herself; her mind would not wrap itself around the reality that she was carrying Scott’s child in her body.

She shook her head, thinking of all the work she had done to get through school, to graduate, to make sure that she had almost no debt when she graduated, and then to create and build her own business and try to turn it into the enormously successful firm she dreamed that it could be someday.

A child would ruin all of that. A child would make everything she had done, everything that she had worked for, fail. There was no room in her life for a baby, she told herself. There could be no place for one. She wasn’t ever going to be with Scott again, so it wasn’t as if she could offer the baby a family to grow up with. Her mind was a torrent of confusion and angst as realities pelted themselves against her viciously.

Her weeping turned into sobs that wracked her body, and as she convulsed, she laid herself down on the bed in the examination room, and closed her eyes, letting herself cry out and shake until she could start breathing again.

Slowly, one deep breath at a time, she managed to get herself under control, and she turned and laid on her back, staring at the ceiling, focusing on breathing in and out. She told herself that she had to calm down and think her way through everything going on in her mind. There was a way through it all; she just had to find it.

She realized as she lay there, that she was probably going to have to go through it alone, and the thought paralyzed her, until she thought of Eva. Eva had been her best friend since high school. No one knew her better, and no one was closer to her than Eva. She might not have to go through it alone after all, no matter what route she decided to take with it.

Naomi pushed herself up from the bed and got her cell phone. She sent a text to Eva, asking her to meet her as soon as she could. She told her it was an emergency. Slipping her phone back into her purse, she got dressed and used the little sink in the counter to wash her hands and face, in an attempt to cool off and calm down a little more.

The nurse knocked on the door and Naomi called out for her to come in. She looked sympathetic, and Naomi knew that she must have been told about the reception of the doctor’s news. She had Naomi sign a few forms and she gave her some education pamphlets and information sources, and wished her well.

When Naomi got to her car again, she gave her phone another look and saw that Eva had texted her back. She told her she would meet her at the café where they liked to go. An hour later, Naomi walked through the door of the café and saw Eva sitting at a table waiting for her.

Eva rose up from her seat and hugged Naomi tightly, which nearly made Naomi lose the slight grip she had on her calm demeanor. She sat across from her friend and Eva took Naomi’s hands in hers, holding them gently.

“What’s going on? I’ve been so worried since I got your text!” Eva asked with enormous concern.

Naomi swallowed. She hadn’t said it out loud. She had no idea how to share her news and even speak it, but one look in Eva’s patient waiting eyes, and she knew that she had to do it.