A Night of No Return

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Aren’t you going to say something?’ The corners of his mouth—that beautiful sexy mouth—flickered. ‘I’ve never known you short of words before.’

‘If you don’t want me to work for you then … those papers in your hand aren’t a contract?’

‘No.’ He handed them to her and she smoothed them with shaking hands and saw that she was holding a picture of a house, obviously drawn by a child but surprisingly detailed.

‘Oh. Did Ella do this?’

‘No. I did it.’ His voice was rough. ‘I was six years old and living in one small room with a woman who didn’t want me.’

Emma looked at him, the breath jammed in her throat. His mother. He was talking about his mother. ‘You drew it?’

‘Living in that small room with just one tiny window felt wrong to me. To block it out I dreamed of the house I wanted to live in. I promised myself that one day I’d build it and to make sure I never forgot, I drew it. You’re holding that drawing.’

‘You kept it.’

‘Yes. Because I never wanted to forget where I came from.’

The lump stung her throat as she thought of the little boy dreaming of his escape. ‘Why are you showing me this?’

‘Because it’s time to build that house. I’ve built structures for many people, but never a home for myself because home meant family and I’ve always shied away from that for all the reasons you already know. Even when I married Vicky I didn’t build this home. She chose an expensive house in an expensive road and I paid for it. But now I’m ready to build something special. And what I want to know is—’ he hesitated, his gaze fixed on her face ‘—will you live in it with me?’

The papers slid from her fingers onto the floor. ‘Me?’

‘Yes, because a house is just a building. It’s the people in it that make it a home and that’s what I want. A proper home.’ Stooping, he recovered the drawings. ‘It doesn’t have to be exactly like this. You can help me improve it. And Jamie had better have some input as he’ll be living in it too. And I thought we could build a separate house for your sister in the grounds, so that she can have her own life but still be part of ours if she wants that.’

‘Part of ours?’ If she’d been scared before, she was terrified now. Terrified that what she was imagining wasn’t what he was asking. That his intentions might not match her hopes. That she might fall as her mother had fallen, and then stumble to her feet only to fall again. ‘I don’t understand what you’re asking. I don’t understand what you’re telling me.’

He put the drawings on the hall table. ‘I’m asking you to marry me. I’m asking you to live with me so that we can be a family. I’m telling you that I love you.’

Emma closed her eyes, unable to believe what he was saying. ‘You can’t love. It’s the one thing you can’t do. You don’t want to do it.’

‘I’ve discovered I was wrong about that. Apparently I can love.’ He cupped her face in his hands and lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her gently. ‘I love you. And I want to be with you, always. I can build you a house, Emma, I’m good at that part. But you have to help me make it a home. That’s the bit I’m no good at. But you are. I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re fiercely loyal and determined. That night in the snow—I sent you away, but you wouldn’t leave.’

‘How could I leave you? I was so worried about you.’

‘I was unforgivably rude to you.’

‘Not rude. Just hurting.’ She touched his face with her fingers, still unable to believe that he’d actually said he loved her. ‘I stayed because I wanted to.’

‘And last year—’ he breathed deeply ‘—you stayed then too.’

‘I only put a blanket over you, I didn’t know what else to do.’

‘And you locked the door and made sure no one saw me like that. And then brought me strong coffee all morning and fielded my calls, without ever putting pressure on me to tell you what was wrong.’

‘I suppose I knew you wouldn’t want to talk about it. And now I know, I’m not surprised you were drunk—’ she slid her arms around his waist ‘—you suffered a terrible loss.’

‘Yes. And that doesn’t go away,’ he said quietly, ‘but spending time with you made me look at it differently. And look at myself differently. And then you and Cristiano cooked up that plan for me to have Ella.’