What a clusterfuck. As the minutes counted down on the clock, Blake Morris had known she would arrive. He couldn’t seem to deflate his erection. The last thing he wanted to do was leer at her with a goddamn hard-on, so he’d gone to take a cold shower.
That hadn’t even worked.
He needed to masturbate to bring it down. It was the only way to get rid of it. Erin couldn’t see his inappropriate desire for her. It would ruin everything.
What happened was so much worse.
Of all the ways to lose her, that would’ve been the stupidest. Not that he had her, exactly, but seeing her twice a week and getting to talk with her was more than he deserved, and he was damned grateful for it. He chose not to analyze the pathetic factor of that.
It was shitty of him to use her work to bring her to his house. He’d never had such a clean house in his life. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop seeing her, either.
Someone so beautiful and good had no business being around a goddamn coward like himself, but fuck if he wasn’t selfish enough to force her anyways. Lord knew he had no good looks, no charm, and as evidenced by earlier, no intelligence with which to lure her instead.
In some circles he was known as a great mind in military strategy.
The great intellectual, thinking with his dick.
Not that he didn’t excuse himself to a certain extent—God, she was beautiful. Seeing her watching his dick while he’d come had only inflamed his lust for her, her cheeks pink, her lips parted, but it was best not to think about that or he’d get hard all over again.
It was bad enough to be scarred and ugly, broken in body and spirit, wasn’t it? Surely he didn’t need to add exhibitionist to his faults, flashing unsuspecting maids who didn’t want him.
Chapter Two
Erin
One hour into her next cleaning visit, Erin was getting worried.
She wished everything could go back to normal, but Blake seemed to be avoiding her. He made a brief appearance to say hello. Hello, as if they were nothing more than employer and maid. As if he hadn’t made her laugh and hope and develop a massive crush on him.
As if he hadn’t been masturbating with her name on his tongue.
He didn’t sit on the couch as she folded the clothes or lean against the bookshelves while she dusted. He didn’t tell her about what book he was writing, what article he was researching, didn’t ask about her classes.
Normally he wore a soft T-shirt and sweatpants, the kind made thin from many washes. He worked from home and preferred to be comfortable.
Today he wore jeans and a white collared shirt.
Nothing about this was normal.
This new formality had to be a reaction to the incident from last week. Perhaps he felt violated or unsafe with her. Can you blame him? She had basically ogled him.
Guilt serrated her insides.
It didn’t help that she had explicit dreams about him and his cock two nights in a row. Dreams where he said those same words, but she was there, naked beside him, and she did what he commanded. Masturbating to thoughts of each other was a contagious condition, one she’d apparently now caught. If he could walk in on her touching herself, they’d be even.
Blake ducked out of the kitchen with a glass of water at the exact same moment she entered from the other side. This couldn’t continue, could it? She wouldn’t make him uncomfortable in his own home.
“Mr. Morris.”
He stopped and turned, his unscarred side towards her. “Hey, Erin.”
She softened her voice, almost pleading. “I want to apologize again for what happened last time, Blake.” If using his first name was the price of his forgiveness, then she would gladly pay it. “I should have left right away when I saw what you were doing…well, I was just surprised.” And more turned on than I’ve been my entire life.
He cleared his throat. “Apology accepted.”
Except it didn’t feel accepted, not when he couldn’t look her in the eye. He gave her what she supposed was an encouraging smile but looked more like a grimace. And that made her think of what he looked like when he climaxed. Damn it.
She really should shut up now, but she couldn’t seem to stop. “I was wondering if you…that is, you were thinking of me, weren’t you? There wasn’t some other Erin?”