“Of course I’m fine.”
“I know you’re busy, honey. I just worry.”
She knew exactly the moment when her mother had lost all faith in Erin’s ability to judge people or make it on her own. Erin knew because she doubted herself too.
A change of subject was in order. “School’s starting next week. One more semester.”
She heard the smile in her mother’s voice. “I’m thrilled for you, sweetie. You deserve this. What are you doing now, working?”
“No, I’m on campus.” Where I just got done having sex with a professor. That would not ease her mother’s worries. Pointing out that it was a relationship would only make things worse, not better. And now that Erin had time to reflect, she realized how impulsive she had been to do so. A very bad idea with a thankfully happy ending.
It was just…she’d never had much opportunity to be spontaneous and silly. She worked, she went to school. She wasn’t complaining about it. Her mom had it harder than anyone, after all. But for the first time in her years at the university, Erin had felt young.
“I met with my advisor this morning.” At least that much was true. Her visit to campus hadn’t been solely a booty call. “We went over some of the requirements for my research paper. I’m going to work on my outline tonight.”
“I’m sure you’ll do great, sweetie.”
Erin winced. Such faith, and here she was trying to have fun. This wasn’t a game. “How are you, Mom? Work going okay?”
“Oh, you know. Work’s work.”
She sensed the hesitation. “Something’s wrong. Tell me.”
Her mother laughed. “I never could hide much from you. Just my knees acting up.”
“You need to go to the—”
“To the doctor. I went. He wants me to have surgery.”
Erin stopped in her tracks. The crowd of people sluiced around her as she stood in the middle of the sidewalk. If her mom had actually visited the doctor without being cajoled and forced into it, she must be in a lot of pain. “Surgery?”
“It doesn’t matter. You know I can’t afford it.”
“They don’t have any sort of programs or something, for low-income patients? A payment program?”
“I don’t know, but I couldn’t do it anyway. The surgery will make it so I can’t work for weeks. Maybe even months. I can’t take off work that long.”
Erin closed her eyes. “Mom, if he says you need the surgery, we’ll find a way.”
“No, I’ll figure it out, Erin. You don’t worry about me. Focus on school.”
Focus on school, and not an illicit relationship with a man way out of her league. Yeah, that was a fair request. Only she wasn’t sure she could actually follow it. Leave Blake? Chills raced through her body. Wrong, all wrong.
“I will, mom. One more semester.”
“One more semester and you’ll never have to clean houses for a living. You’ll never have to deal with this kind of problem, of not being able to afford your surgery or take time off to have it. That’s all I want for you, honey. All I’ve ever wanted for you.”
Her heart squeezed. “I know.”
“That’s my girl. You and me against the world,” she said, as she always had since Erin was a kid. It was a secret club with just two members.
At one time it had been a comfort.
Her mother’s goodbyes were happy and heartfelt as they hung up, but Erin felt stricken. Did it really come down to choosing between school and Blake? After all, when she eventually had a career, she’d have to juggle them, so she might as well learn to do it now.
She smiled without any humor. Blake might take the decision out of her hands. He might decide to rekindle what he had with Professor Jenkins.
Then Erin’s problems would go away…