I look down at Kellan. He’s wrapped both arms around me and his head is on my thigh. I’m sitting cross-legged but I shift us so we’re lying face-to-face on our sides. I wrap an arm around him... kiss his fingers.
“You’re okay. Don’t be scared... I’m here. I’ll be with you.” I smooth my palm over his hair... behind his neck. Good God, he’s warm. I feel his back shake and my heart s
tops.
“Baby... Hey...” I try to lift his face but he won’t move. He’s crying.
Arethea bursts in at that second and I’m so confused. She’s flanked by several doctors from our team: the pulmonologist, the infectious disease expert, the trial coordinator, and finally, a few seconds later, Dr. Willard himself. Their faces are grim.
My eyes fly to Arethea’s, questioning. Her face is careful. “Oxygen,” I manage.
She nods, then looks at Willard.
“Kello, baby... It’s okay.” I kiss his forehead. Something’s very wrong. I’m not sure I want to know.
Dr. Willard steps to the bed as Kellan curls up to me.
“Cleo—I spoke with Kellan yesterday, while you were meeting with Arethea about an outing.”
“What?”
“You ever heard of CMV pneumonia?” he drawls.
“No.” I look at the crew at the foot of our bed. “What is it?”
They explain. He caught it from my blood. My blood was positive from CMV when he received the transplant.
“We’ve been monitoring him since then. It came up on his blood work recently, and now he’s started showing symptoms. We’ll need to do some imaging to really know but—”
“If it is, what will you do for it?”
“We’ve already started treating it with antivirals,” Willard tells me. “It’s a virus.”
“And?”
“It all depends on Kellan.” He looks over at Arethea, then at Kellan’s pulse ox stats. His pulse is 112 and his blood oxygen level is 95 now.
“This is all that he can have,” she says.
Fuck.
Dr. Willard looks into my eyes. “What he’s got is serious. But I think he could beat it. Might have to spend some time on ventilation, but—”
That’s all I hear.
A ventilator. Kellan on a ventilator.
Arethea rubs my shoulder as the doctor shakes his head. “I’ll be honest, I’ll be real surprised if we don’t need to try the vent with him, we’re on full-blast here and we can’t pull a 97, 98... It’s not what I’d prefer to see. But Kellan’s strong. He can come through this.”
I look down at him but I can’t see his face. His arm clutches around my middle.
I take a few deep breaths and start my questions. Forty minutes later, all the doctors leave.
Kellan kisses me. “You said.” His eyes are tired. “I want to be inside you.”
“You’ve got a CT scan in thirty minutes.”
He shakes his head, his grip on my shoulder surprisingly strong. “I need it. I need it.”