I run her one, and take pleasure in the dance she does when she sees how huge the tub is here.
“I’m filling it up to my nose.”
I take her left hand. Kiss the ring. She sinks into the steaming water.
“I won’t be long,” I tell her. I slip into a CC t-shirt and then into my jeans.
“Mmm, mmm, those jeans are tight in all the right places. I might have to get out of this water and come check that out.”
I wink. “I put a text order in for the food, so let me go get it and then…” I stretch my arms out. “All yours. Always.”
She sighs. “Really?”
“Really.”
I leave Cleo beaming in the tub, moving her hand around so she can see the light glint on her ring.
I RIDE THE ELEVATOR NEAREST to my flat—the one that gets the least traffic. With new gloves on my hands, I press the “6” button and step so my back touches the mirrored wall.
I can’t help the little smile I give myself in the mirror. For just a second, I swear I see dimples.
“Thank you, Ly,” I murmur.
I stand stone still, feeling…warm. Just really fucking warm and…glad. That things turned out this way. I inhale deeply. Goddamn, I’m so lucky. I love her so much.
I step out of the elevator on the sixth floor still grinning like a fool and get a little kick out of going into the restaurant. As always, people give me looks, but I don’t give a shit. I’ve got my fucking woman in the bath tub with a diamond on her finger.
God, it’s good. I close my eyes and fire a prayer off to somewhere. “Thank you.”
I get our little brown bag and hand my card to the woman at the counter. She hands me my receipt, which echoes my thoughts: THANK YOU. I walk to the elevator slowly…measuring my breaths because sometimes when I get overwhelmed, my lungs try to close up a little.
I press the up arrow and tap my foot as I hold the warm food against my thigh. I can’t fucking wait to get back up there to her. I laugh. Did that really happen?
Yeah. It fucking happened.
I ball my hand into a fist and press it to my chest. I step into the elevator hearing birds caw…smelling salt water. I’ll buy her a cottage by the sea. I want kids out there, playing on the grass. I think of Cleo at an easel, smiling as she paints. The feeling of my mother knots my chest up. My eyes blur a little.
I lean against the elevator wall and rub just under my throat. I grip the rail with my gloved hand.
The elevator’s door opens, and I walk out.
My chest feels... tight and heavy. Cleo. That’s my first thought. Needing her. My cheeks and chest flush. My arm aches. I blink down at the hardwood. I dropped Cleo’s food.
I can’t breathe. I grasp at the hall wall. Can’t see it. I stagger toward my door. Where’s Cleo?
My heart lights up like a fireball, spreading…all through me.
I can’t breathe without her.
Guess I really can’t…
The bedroom door pops open before I have a chance to swallow back my wrenching sobs. I see Olive’s small, blond head, then Mary Claire’s stunned face.
She scoops up Olive, stroking her hair. She reaches around Ol and, with her brows drawn tightly together, MC signs, “Are you okay?” Her eyes widen, to emphasize her surprise. “Do you need anything?”
I shake my head. “Go away,” I sign back. My daughter’s green eyes meet mine, and I give her an unsteady smile. “It’s okay Ollie, Mommy’s sad, but I’ll feel better soon,” I fudge. “Go play with Aunt MC.”
My four-year-old nods knowingly. “I love you Mommy.”