“Heard a bomb?”
He shakes his head again.
“Have you been wounded there?” I smirk slightly, remembering our meeting. “In a serious way?”
He shakes his head.
“You’re not going to see another IED, Barrett. One time when you were dreaming, you were talking about a tourniquet. You don’t have one of those here. You don’t need one here. The Barrett who needed one is gone. You have to leave him there. I think you did already. Maybe part of you feels like you have to get him back. To sort through all that and atone…” I gnaw my lip, shaking my head. “I don’t know what’s in your mind, but I know you can’t. The only thing you have is from this point forward, and from here on out, you are not an Operator. You’re just my neighbor. Someone I love. You can’t be anybody else, unless you want to. Choose to. And that person would be new, too.”
I stroke the back of his head. “You—the one here now—are who I want. And I love you, Barrett. I want you to be fed well and feel good. You are beautiful to me…and valuable. I want to keep you.”
He holds me tightly. “I love you…Gwen. I don’t know how to…not be scared.”
Of what, I almost ask, but I think I can fill in the blank. Scared I’ll leave. Scared everything will fall apart. Scared that his past will reach into the future and get him. I squeeze him to me.
“If you start to worry, just tell me. I’m scared too. Nervous. I think the more you’ve lost in life, the harder it is to invest yourself in the future. I get that.”
“Yeah.” The soft word fades into silence. Barrett just keeps holding me, and my heart aches, and breaks, and swells again with love for him.
NINE
Barrett
Finally, I lift my head. My face is hot. My throat still feels kind of tight and thick. But the second our eyes meet, I feel all the tension melt away.
She smiles, and it’s a smile that says she really does love me. I think of what she said—about how the other versions of me are dead and gone. It sounds weird, but…I think I like it. Gone is where I want them. It’s the only thing that feels right.
How strange that she knew. She knew what to say. But then…of course she did. From the first day I watched her, I had a feeling she and I were linked.
I smile back at her. I have the impulse to pull my dick out, just to show her I still have it after all the waterworks. The thought makes me smile a little more, and her smile widens, too.
“I love your smile,” she says.
I rub my thumb over her lip. “I love yours more.”
She wraps her arms around my waist and speaks against my chest. “You want to get a bath? I have a dumb, funny idea…”
“Dumb and funny?” I swallow against my scratchy throat. “Sold,” I tease.
I carry her over to the tub and set her on its ledge while I start the water. She undresses. I watch every move she makes until I’m hard, and then I take off my clothes, too.
Her little “mmmmm” as my dick springs free of my boxer-briefs is enough to make me throb. We get into the tub together, but this time I set her down by the faucet. We face each other, and she strokes my shaft as the water laps at my balls and I play with her clit.
“Ahh.” The noise is breathy and delicious. Fuck, her nipples are all hard and tight. I can see the goosebumps on her creamy breasts. She grips me tighter, strokes me faster.
“I love that look on your face,” she says with a smirk. Her lids are heavy, cheeks are pink.
“What look?” I smile, and I can feel that same sedation on my own face. Everything inside me builds and tenses, but somehow on the outside I feel slower.
“The turned-on look,” she whispers. “Your face gets kind of red up here…” She reaches out and strokes under my eyes. “Your eyes look like they’re trying not to close…” Her fingers trail around the rim of my head, and I can’t help panting as the pleasure spins out through my thighs. Then she strokes the tender notch there at the underside of my head, and I do close my eyes as I shift my hips.
“Fuck…” She’s still pumping my shaft.
“Your voice gets low…and your nipples get tight.” She strokes me with a firmer hand, and with her other hand, she pinches one.
My dick throbs, and I groan.
I try to up my game on her clit, and I feel her shimmy closer to me.