“It was hard, him leaving me like that. I think his parents were embarrassed. Felt bad.”
“I hope they did.”
“Want to lay down here on the floor and go to sleep?”
“I’ll try getting up.”
We go to sleep with my head on Bear’s chest, his arms around me.
“I won’t leave you.” That sweet promise is the last thing I hear before I drift off.
The next night, I find Barrett in the bathroom rug with a little yellow reporter’s notepad on his lap.
He looks beautiful in the dim lamplight. His eyes are heavy and his face is drawn, but something about the way he’s sprawled out, legs out, one knee raised, his bare, broad back against my wall, makes him look fierce.
I step partially in the small room. “Hey, you.”
His face is tight.
“Just checking on you. I can go now.”
“No.”
He holds his hand out, and I go sit by him. I lean my head against his bicep…take his hand when he offers it. With no prompting, he passes me the notebook.
I arch a brow, and he nods once, and then looks down at his lap.
I’M DRIVING AND THERE’S MOONLIGHT, EVERYTHING IS COATED IN A WHITE SHEEN. I’M CRYING AND AN ANGEL FALLS. THE BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE. I CALL FOR BRECK. HE COMES AND HELPS ME. HE TAKES ME AWAY IN ANOTHER CAR. I GET SICK.
There’s a few blank lines and then:
EDIT—
I’M DRIVING. I HIT A SNOW BANK. EXCEPT IT ISN’T SNOW. IT’S SAND. THE SAND SCATTERS EVERYWHERE. I KEEP DRIVING. BRECK AND I LISTEN TO THE RADIO.
I hand it back to him and lean my head against his arm again.
“That looks good. That’s how I did it, too.”
He moves so that his arm is behind me.
“Sean wants me to bring it every time.”
“When you talk about it over and over, it will become boring.”
He smirks, but it’s a sad smirk, like he can’t believe that’s true.
“I’ve never understood time,” he says in a low voice. His eyes hold mine. “I saw a quote once—Einstein, maybe?—that said time exists so everything doesn’t happen all at once. I wish I was there for you like you are for me.”
“What do you mean?”
He squeezes me against him. I feel him inhale, but he just shakes his head. He stands up. “Back to bed?”
He helps me up. I go with him.
As we get back into bed, I see his phone light up. He grabs it.
“Dove.”