“Only when you’re big like Mummy,” she said, shaking her finger.
“I’ll swim like a mermaid then!”
A ray of sunlight peeked through the gray clouds. I remember reaching for my halo, thinking Mum and I would need to take them off and set them in the boat’s belly with her discarded vest. Just as she leaned away, there he was.
My father’s skin was sun-darkened, his blond hair just one shade shy of brown, as if someone had rubbed dirt in it. From his perch there on the dock, he scowled down on us, and my stomach flipped like a frightened fish.
“What the hell is this then?”
I could see the redness in his eyes, the meanness all about his mouth, and I felt scared for Mummy.
“We’re going to find the dolphins! It’s my birthday!”
He glowered down at me, and I noticed the stains on his tee shirt.
“We’ll be back quite soon,” Mummy said. Her tone was tight and careful, a bit nice and a bit like she might perhaps be ready for a row. “We can talk then,” she offered softly.
Daddy stepped into the little wooden skiff. It rocked with his weight, water sloshing up on one side. “I don’t think so.” He sat down on the bench beside Mummy, folding his large arms. “I believe I’ll go.” He glared at Mummy like an angry villain. “Wouldn’t want to miss the fun.”
Unshed tears made my eyes ache. I swallowed hard and looked down at my sandal-clad feet. Mustn’t cry in front of Daddy. Mummy told me many times: no tears except when I was alone or with just her or Gammy. This was different, though. This was my birthday.
“Only Mummy!”
Daddy’s blood-shot blue eyes popped wide at my shriek.
“So you want to get out of the boat, then?” he snarled.
Tears spilled down my cheeks. “It was a Mummy-Finley affair!”
“Not anymore. Let’s go,” he said to Mummy, flicking his hand at her. She jumped up to start the motor. She did whatever Daddy asked; she always gave him what he wanted. Who could blame her? When she didn’t, bad things happened.
I wiped at my eyes and wondered, as I often did, why Daddy was this way. I’d seen the other daddies. They were different. Holly’s daddy always held her Mum’s umbrella when it rained, and Dorothy’s daddy liked to ride Dot on his back. My daddy rarely looked at me, and when he did, I knew I was in for it.
As soon as we got off into the waves, the rain began—fat, cold drops that hurt my forehead.
Mummy said, “Let’s turn back, Pete.”
“I don’t think so. I want Fin to see the dolphins.”
Fin was what he often called me, despite me not liking it.
“I don’t like the rain,” I whimpered.
“Toughen up!” Daddy laughed, but it was too loud, making Mummy wince. Mummy steered along the eastern coastline, where the island’s rocky ledge stretched up toward the clouds.
I held onto my little wooden bench, pressing my legs together as the boat bounced over the waves. The rain beat down against the skiff, making a low roar. I saw Mummy’s mouth pinch. She looked tiny on the bench beside Daddy. She touched her battered flower halo, looking like she thought she should perhaps remove it, but I suppose she didn’t want to. Anna’s mum had pinned it into her hair. She caught me staring, pulled a towel from her bag, and passed it my way. I took it, gladly covering myself.
Under the towel’s blue and white stripes, I let my tears fall. I drew my legs up, feeling warmer, and I hoped the dolphins would come quickly so we could return to shore.
We hadn’t seen Daddy in a bit—not even at my birthday party in the village’s café. I hoped when we docked, he would disappear again. My mummy never smiled when he was with us, and I didn’t either.
The skiff jolted. My tummy pitched, and I peeked out from underneath the towel. Wow—the waves had gotten big. One sloshed right into the boat with us, landing on Mummy’s lap. My throat felt tight and pinched as she frowned at her pretty dress. I saw her fist tighten around the steering wheel.
“I’m turning back. With her,” she said to Daddy, shaking her head as if to say that for me, this weather was too dangerous.
“Just a bit more. I’ll say when to stop, not you.”
My heart was pounding, and my throat felt stuck. When Mummy turned the wheel despite him, Daddy grabbed her arm and twisted.