My pulse races as I shake my head. His gaze remains on mine, as if asking, Are you sure?
“No thank you,” I murmur.
“That was so good, Finley.”
And, at that, he’s gone. Sunk into dreamland.
After I cover him, I go stand beside the stream, where I touch the inseam of my shorts with quaking fingers. I imagine my hand gliding up my thigh, beneath the fitted seam-line of my own white underthings…over my dark, coarse curls.
I can’t stop myself. I glide my fingers over my sex, stunned to find it slick and swollen. When my fingertip nudges the slit between my lips, I have to bite my cheek to keep from moaning.
Oh, Declan…
I need my finger in that place. I need something to fill where I feel needy for his harsh engorgement.
I’m breathing so hard, it echoes. I close my eyes and I imagine his smart fingers parting my forbidden crevice. I’m so very, very wet…could he fit in?
I push a fingertip inside and cry out. I’m throbbing, my entire body aching with the need to feel…him. In my fantasy, he’s lying flat as he was, his sex jutting up. I tug it toward me, push its thick tip to my swollen flesh.
I imagine spreading my legs open for him. He would push inside—so large and long—and I’d be filled completely…to the point of sinful madness.
I see his taut jaw, then his parted lips. I see his dazed eyes and that kind smile he gives me at odd moments. And I can feel his cheek beside mine.
My beloved.
The words chill me. How…ridiculous. And shameful. Sinful. I feel ill as I dip my hand into the stream and wash away the evidence of my wicked thoughts.
Twenty
Declan
I feel…better. It’s the first thing I notice as I blink up at the craggy ceiling. All the fucking dread, the racing heart shit—gone. Along with the surreal sensation I hate so much. I’ve still got the empty-chested feeling, but it’s physical. That shit, I can handle. Pain and discomfort—that’s the easy part.
I roll over, hoping to go back to sleep. That’s when I feel it. My shorts…
The surreal feeling’s back, making my stomach roll as I reach down and find…oh, thank fuck. My hand brushes the towel on my crotch, and then I know I didn’t dream it.
Finley really jerked me off. I had a giant, detox hard-on and she…helped.
Again, with the fucking roller coaster. My heart bobs like a buoy up into my throat, so I can hardly breathe. I shut my eyes, and I can see her lower lip between her teeth, her long, red hair over her shoulder as her hands rub up and down my cock. Pale, tentative hands…that pumped my dick—and rubbed my back.
Warmth spreads through me like some kind of Harry Potter shit. Shame kicks up behind it. Shame and something heavy, like a metric fuck-ton of regret. That this is who I am. That she saw me this way and…I don’t know. What did she think?
She grabbed my dick.
I tell myself that means she doesn’t think I’m scum, and when I’ve got the nerve to look around, I spot her over by the cave’s mouth, standing with her hands on her hips and her face tilted toward the boulder that’s blocking us in.
I let my gaze run up and down her. Siren. She looks like a siren…or a mermaid. She’s on the taller side, with curvy hips, a nice, round ass, and big breasts. Her face has that extra clean look some women have. I think it’s something with her skin. It just looks soft. I can’t see her very well across the cave, so I close my eyes and see her face. A few freckles across the nose...and those lips. Damn.
She gives me these looks sometimes where she’s got her brows raised and her eyes wide and her lips pursed, and she looks like a sassy schoolmarm. I can see her sitting by me—leaning over me—her face framed by a few loose strands of hair…and I can hear her soft voice.
“Darling.”
It feels weird to have a woman act like that with me. Even more so because I liked it. I glance at her again across the burrow and it’s just…weird. I’ve known her less than a week, but it feels like a lot longer. When I look at her, I don’t see a near-stranger. I see Finley.
I guess I could go back to sleep, but now I sort of feel like talking to her. We’re stuck in here together, after all, and I’m not losing my damn mind for once. I probably will be later, when the benefits of sleeping wear off. But right now, I feel close to normal. And I want to see her. I want to see her blush when I walk over to her.
I pull my pants up, moving carefully, so I don’t draw her eye yet, and then get to my feet. My body doesn’t ache as much as it does sometimes. I feel so much better, I can’t help a cheesy grin as she looks over at me.