Three
Declan
I’m just rounding that big field behind the house when I hear her behind me.
“Declan?”
I turn to Finley with my eyes throbbing, finding her maybe fifteen feet behind me, one hand drawn up to her throat as if she thinks she needs a shield. “Right about what?”
It’s windy. She pushes her hair out of her face.
I jam my hands into my pockets. Rub my lips together till I’m sure that I can keep my voice steady. Then I say, “I was selfish. Just thinking about me—what I want.” My heart pounds as she steps closer. I shift so my left arm stays behind me.
“What do you want?” she whispers.
I shake my head. “Don’t do this, Finley. I’m fine, and you’ll be okay, too.” In the moonlight, she looks like she’s shivering. I think maybe I see tears on her face. She steps closer, and I’m sure.
“Hey…” I take a half-step toward her before remembering I can’t touch her. “You should let me drive you back.”
Her mouth trembles as she shakes her head.
“Want to come inside…just for a second?”
She shakes her head.
“What’s the matter, Siren?”
Tears spill down her cheeks. I step closer to her, but I don’t know what to do. Can I hug her? Would that make things worse?
“C’mon, S…I wasn’t gonna jump off. That’s just crazy.”
She shakes her head. “I’m haunted.” It’s a ragged whisper.
Shit. “I’m really sorry. Keep in mind that I’m a lot heavier than you are. I couldn’t get blown off. And the rock was steady. I’m a climber. I could tell. Maybe it was a bad idea, but I wasn’t going to fall.”
“Weren’t you, though?” She steps closer, peering at me with her leaking eyes, and I feel like she can see right through me. “I miss you.” Her face crumples, and her shoulders jerk a little as she covers her face, speaking from behind her hand. “Since this morning…I miss you.”
She puts both hands over her face, and I start shaking like the freak I am. More than anything, I want to put my arms around her, but what she said today still stands. I know her well enough to know it’s her statement of record.
Please don’t break my heart.
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t.
I put a hand over her shoulde
r, because that’s all that seems appropriate between friends. And I can do that. I can’t not be her friend. “You’ll feel better after some sleep. Everything looks better in the morning.”
Her head lifts, her brown eyes flashing. “What bollocks is that? I won’t feel better in the morning! If anything, I’ll feel worse as time elapses…without you.” The word cracks.
She holds her forehead, and I give in. I put an arm around her back and draw her carefully against my side. “C’mon, Finny. Let me take you home. I didn’t mean to fuck your night up. I’m sorry.”
I glance at my left arm, but I think the bleeding’s stopped. I got most of what was dripping blotted off at the plateau. She won’t see it if I’m careful when I steer.
I shut my eyes for just a second as we walk toward the car, trying to memorize the feeling of her body against mine. After this, I’ve gotta stay the fuck away from her.
She stops when we get to the car and stares up at me. “You can’t take me home,” she whispers. “All the chatter.”
After a second, I realize she means people would talk.