Deep 6 (Multiple Love)

“At your service,” I say, with a mock bow. “Tyler’s instructed me to take you shopping. He’s left me with a bundle of cash that is at your disposal.”

“Shopping. What does he want me to buy?”

“Pajamas…well, Andrew suggested that.” My gaze drops down over her current attire, and Sandy snorts.

“Maybe he’s got a point. Maybe some underwear too,” she muses. “I wasn’t expecting this kind of vacation.”

I turn to face the window, my cheeks hotter than the surface of the sun. “Whatever you need,” I say with as much of a carefree tone as I can muster.

“Okay, I’ll go and get dressed.”

“What about breakfast?” I ask her.

“Do you have one of those travel cups?” she asks. I search for one in the cupboard and present it like it’s a silver goblet.

“Perfect. I’ll take some coffee in that and one of the blueberry muffins I made.”

“There’s only one left,” I laugh. “The rest disappeared with the boys.”

Sandy smiles broadly. “I won’t take too long.”

She’s actually a lot quicker than I thought she’d be, appearing in the same outfit she wore last night. The sweater really brings out the pretty color of her hazel eyes and hugs curves that I shouldn’t be noticing if I want a chance in hell of keeping a normal complexion. I hand her the filled coffee cup and the muffin in a paper bag.

“Breakfast to go,” she smiles. “Thanks.”

Damn. There go my cheeks.

“Let’s go.” I duck my head and grab the keys from the counter, trying not to let her see me blush. Outside, the truck is parked at a funny angle, and it takes me a little back and forth to get us on the road. All the while, Sandy is breaking off bits of delicious muffin and popping them through her pretty lips, and I can barely focus enough to drive.

The mall is on the other side of town, so I know we’re gonna need to make conversation, but my mind is blank. In the end, Sandy asks me questions, and I start feeling a whole lot more relaxed.

“I’ve known Tyler since middle school,” I tell her. “He was one of the cool kids, but he wasn’t an asshole. If he saw me hanging by myself, he’d always drag me into whatever he was doing. I got involved in football because of him, and then things were easier. My size became a positive thing.”

I see Sandy smile out of the corner of my eye, but I’m not sure at what part of my story. Is it that Tyler was a good guy, even back then, or that he helped me find my way? Or maybe both.

“And you guys hung out ever since?” she asks.

“Mostly,” I say. “When he hooked up with you, he kind of disappeared for a while.”

“Yeah.” Sandy takes a sip of her coffee. “We were kind of intense. I always asked him about his friends, but it’s like he wanted to keep his worlds separate for a while. I’m still not sure why?”

“You ever buy something so pretty that you didn’t want to take it out of the packaging?” I ask her, and she nods in agreement. “Well, maybe that’s how Tyler felt about you. Maybe he was trying to keep everything perfect for as long as he could?”

“Perfect? But why wouldn’t things have been perfect with you guys involved too?”

“Greg was already locked up. I was with a girl who was causing a load of trouble between us all. The triplets were getting involved in shit they should have been staying clear of. We were all pumped with testosterone and making a mess of our lives.”

Sandy blinks slowly and shakes he head. “He was trying to protect me,” she says softly.

“Of course.” We are waiting at a stop sign, so I get a chance to face her. “And himself.”

“And when Jake died?” she asks. “He just disappeared, and I had no way of contacting him except his phone. He never answered.”

“He was trying to protect you then too.”

“I’m not a fragile flower.” Sandy’s voice matches her screwed-up features. “I can deal with life, you know. I’ve had to deal with a lot…” she trails off, blinking a few times and then staring out of the window. I want to ask her what she’s talking about, but it’s not my place to pry. If she wanted to share the details, she would.

“We always try to do what we think is best for the people we love, Sandy. You might have wanted Tyler to do something different, but he did what he thought was best. He did what he could deal with.”

“Well, he should have done better. He left me behind, and he had no idea what was going on with me. I needed him.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “But none of us can go back as much as we wish we could. We blame ourselves, and we blame each other for things that can’t be changed. That bitterness doesn’t help anyone.”