He’d be shouting after me with rage.
He’d never forgive me.
My car is ready today, but I don’t know what to do. There are two parts of my life; this place that has become a refuge with six of the best men there are in the world, and my real life where things are going wrong all over again. I feel like I’m teetering between the two, not sure where to go or which version of myself to be.
I want to be this Sandy. The Sandy with security, who doesn’t have to feel as though I’m floundering all the time. I want to be rooted and protected. I want all the things that I used to dream about having with Tyler and had to throw in the trash when he left without a trace.
But I also want the old me before Tyler left.
The one who didn’t feel like a part of her is so damaged that she’ll never fully heal.
The one who struggles to comprehend the shit that life threw in her way.
I stare at these men who carried me to bed so tenderly last night and tucked me in like they were wrapping a precious package in the best quality giftwrap. Arden’s face is so relaxed in sleep. The smirk that I’m so used to seeing playing at the edges of his mouth is gone. His beard is thick, and darker than his hair, but I know how soft it is. It tickled against my cheek and between my thighs. I see his vulnerability in a way that I don’t fully understand.
And Able.
Able’s jaw is shadowed with overnight growth, and he has a slight furrow in his brow as though he’s holding troubles close. I wish I could hear their thoughts and see what’s in their hearts. I wish that I could trust my instincts when it comes to all the men in this house, but my instincts have led me in the wrong direction before.
I’ve had hopes that have been dashed against the rocks so hard that there was nothing left of them.
I stumbled into this situation, wanting to dwell in a place where life was simple. But the way Tyler’s been avoiding talking to me has me both relieved and worried in equal measure. We’re both pretending that the present doesn’t rest on the past, but it does.
Should I stay, or should I go?
As though Arden can feel my dilemma, he moves closer, his arm wrapping even more securely around me. His lips move, a sigh escaping.
I wish they’d wake up so that I can get lost in their bodies again. They’re both already hard. It wouldn’t take much to get started. After four years of no sex, these past few days have made me insatiable. But sex doesn’t equal love when unspoken words rest beneath, threatening to spoil everything.
I’m about to caress Arden’s arm with just the tips of my fingers when he stirs and says a word that brings the familiar burn of tears to the back of my throat.
“Stay,” he says, gripping me tighter.
27
TYLER
It’s done. Sandy’s ours. She’s been in the bed of every man in this house, and they’ve claimed her, not only for themselves but for all of us.
She’s marked for us.
The Deep Six.
But there is still so much unsaid between us. I know it can’t stay that way forever. Maybe in time I’ll find a way to be open with the girl who’s given me a bubble of hope in my chest. Maybe, if she loves us all, she’ll find a way to see past my guilt.
All I know is that I can’t risk telling her now.
I’m flipping pancakes in the kitchen when there’s a knock on the front door. I glance at the clock, knowing that it’s early, but I want to confirm the exact time. Seven-thirty am. Who the hell would be coming around at this time?
Greg slides off his chair and lumbers to open it. Maybe he’s expecting a package or a visitor.
When I hear a woman’s voice, I empty the pancake out of the pan so I can step away from the stove to see who it is.
Luna.
My sister, who I haven’t spoken to for a long time. Almost as long as Sandy. I swear, the wind must be blowing in my direction because people from my past keep drifting back through. I’m so shocked to see her that I take a step back, bracing my hand on the counter.
Luna struts past Greg, who remains standing in the doorway, his eyebrows raised, and his mouth pulled to one side.. Behind her, a troop of men in black suits shuffles in. They look like the actors from Men in Black, but I know they’re not secret service. They’re her bodyguards.
“Tyler,” she says curtly as soon as she steps over the threshold to the kitchen.