Deep 6 (Multiple Love)

I turn to Sandy, whose face has paled to the color of alabaster. Her eyes are on me, and she takes a step forward and then another until she’s next to me. “Tyler,” she says softly. “Are you okay?”

I don’t get why she’s asking me. I don’t get why her expression is so worried. I don’t get why she can’t seem to take hold of my hand when she reaches out to it. Then I look down at my hand and find it shaking so violently it’s almost a blur. Sound dulls around me like my head is underwater, and everything happening around me is above. Sandy’s arms go to embrace me, but it doesn’t feel good. It feels as though she’s trying to hold me up, and that’s not her job. I should be the one protecting her from the world. I need to be the one who’s strong enough to keep it all together. I didn’t do it for my family, but I can do it for her. I can do it for my boys.

“Tyler, sit,” Sandy says gently. The press of the table against my legs prompts me to slump down. I can smell Sandy’s scent on her soft skin, feel her fingers in my hair. My chest is rising and falling too rapidly, but I can’t seem to get control over my breathing. Damien is standing behind Sandy, staring down at me like a father looking at his son. There are voices, but I can’t make out what they’re saying.

All I can do is close my eyes and hope it’ll all go away.

28

GREG

When Luna walked into the house surrounded by bodyguards, I thought they were going to be a problem. As it turns out, they’re the ones who see things going south and hustle her out of the front door. I’m close behind because there is no way I’m letting her leave without giving her a fucking huge piece of my mind.

“LUNA!” I shout as she’s stumbling down the front path to her giant vehicle. She stops, and so does the suited dude who has his hand through her arm. For someone with a mouth on her the size of the Grand Canyon, she’s actually really small and vulnerable looking now.

“What?”

“What you said to Tyler…it’s wrong.”

“Nothing I said was wrong. You just don’t want to face the truth.”

“The truth is that Jake was a grown man. The truth is that Tyler told him never to ride that motorcycle. He warned Jake in front of me how dangerous it was.”

“He promised Jake that he would teach him to ride, but he never had time for us after he met Sandy.”

“He was in love, Luna. For the first time in his life, he had someone who loved him the way he needed to be loved. I’m not trying to diminish you and Jake in his life…he loved you both more than anything else, but he’d been caring for you guys for so long…from when he was too young. He just wanted to have some time to himself. Jake shouldn’t have taken the bike, but it wasn’t Tyler’s fault.”

“Then why does he blame himself?” Luna spits as though she’s proven her point right there.

“Because that’s what big brothers do. That’s what brothers who have had to step in to be mothers and fathers do. That’s what anyone who’s left behind after an accident does. We blame ourselves because there is no going back…there is no way to bring Jake back.”

Luna stares at me, her bright green eyes swimming with unshed tears. The man at her side pushes at her arm to get her to move, but she resists. “He died,” she mutters. “Jake died, and Tyler wasn’t there, and I had no one.”

“I know,” I say, reaching out to touch her hand. It’s so small that I could crush every bone without even trying. She’s a force to be reconned with in a tiny, frail package. “But what happened broke Tyler, and you blaming him…you trying to heap more guilt onto him…it isn’t going to make anything better. We’re trying to bring him back. Sandy is here to try and bring him back.”

I hear the rustle of clothes behind me and turn to find Sandy in the doorway. Her pretty eyes are glassy, and her head shakes from side to side as though she’s in denial about whatever part of our conversation she heard. I scrunch my face in anticipation of some kind of confrontation. Luna is raw and resentful, and Sandy seems to be vulnerable, but angry. It’s a dangerous combination.

“Luna.” There’s a hitch in Sandy’s voice that stills Luna immediately. Sandy pads outside, ignoring the fact that her feet are bare, and she’s dressed more appropriately for indoors than out. I catch the heads of the bodyguards turning, and I don’t think it’s because they’re concerned for Luna’s safety. If this wasn’t such a fucked-up situation, I’d be warning them off my girl.