37
TYLER
Greg and Able have been gone all day. Andrew and Arden made excuses for them that were thin and implausible, but I didn’t dig too deep. Wherever they are and whatever they’re doing, I trust them with my life.
It’s after dark, and I’m sitting at the kitchen counter with a beer, decompressing after finally settling Mom into her cleaned house. I don’t have the energy to call Luna, and to be honest, I don’t want to share the state I found Mom in. Luna’s tour is taking her far and wide, and wherever she is, she’s too remote to make any kind of difference here. I don’t want to worry her unnecessarily.
I hear the sound of a truck in the driveway and then the rumble of a smaller engine—big heavy feet crunch on the driveway as well as some smaller, lighter ones. I don’t want to hope that maybe it’s Sandy outside because the disappointment would be too great if it wasn’t. Still, a little part of me will always hold out that she’ll come back to me again.
When the front door clicks, I glance up, finding Greg and Able coming through the door, and then it’s held open for another person.
The sight of Sandy in the doorway is like the sun rising on a clear day. My eyes seem to need a moment to adjust before my brain really accepts the truth. She’s here. They’ve brought her back.
I’m happy until I take in her expression. She’s worried. Nervous. Her hands are clasped in front of her, and she’s twisting them. I search Greg and Able’s faces, and they both look as though they’re holding secrets; tight-lipped, eyes slightly wider than normal. I don’t know what’s going on but after the day I’ve had, I hope it’s nothing serious.
Standing, I cross the room, and rather than speak, I wrap my arms around the only girl who’s ever held my heart. She’s as stiff as a board for a couple of seconds, then Sandy relaxes against me and wraps her arms tightly around my back. My eyes meet Greg’s, and he nods. I’ve done the right thing, and so has he. He went to fetch my girl back, and she’s here.
I want to feel happy, but this isn’t a gushing reunion. There’s something weighing on Sandy. Something that has her trembling in my arms, and when Able and Greg motion to Andrew, Arden, and Damien to leave the room, I know I’m about to find out what it is.
Drawing away from Sandy, I clutch her upper arms in my hands, searching her face. “You came back.”
She nods, only maintaining fleeting eye contact, then she takes a step back and makes her way over to the couch. She slumps down, so she’s perched on the edge, clasping her hands again. “I need to talk to you,” she says softly. “I’ve been psyching myself up for it the entire journey, playing out a million conversations in my head, trying to find the right way to tell you something.”
“You don’t need to do that,” I say, moving to sit next to her but leaving a space between us. “You don’t need to worry about how to talk to me. Just tell me…whatever it is.”
Her shoulders rise as she takes in a deep breath. Her fingers twist, wrapping themselves around each other, then untwist again. A sense of panic bubbles in my chest. Is she sick? Is that why she left and didn’t come back? If she thinks I wouldn’t love her…or that she’d be a burden to us if she’s not in full health, she’s wrong. This thing between us can’t just be about good times. It has to be about all the times; happy and sad, easy and difficult.
Sandy’s eyes stay low, but if that’s what it takes to help her speak, then so be it. “When you left, I didn’t know where you’d gone. I tried calling you, but you never picked up. I was so worried.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I just, I wasn’t thinking…I was out of my mind.”
“I know that now,” she says softly. “But at the time, it broke my heart. I didn’t get out of bed for weeks. My sister…she came and got me and took me to stay with her. She helped me through it.”
Reaching out, I touch her knee. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to keep saying that,” she says. “I’m not here because I’m searching for an apology. I’m here to tell you what happened after.”
“Okay,” I say.
“By the time I began to function again, I realized that I had missed my period. I thought it was because I was so heartbroken…you know, things like that can mess with a woman’s body, but…”
Sandy trails off, her fingers knotting again, and my heart clenches because I think I know what she’s going to say. She was pregnant and she had an abortion. Fuck.