Break Me

We pull up to my place, and Brock comes up to help me pack a bag.

“You know she’s gonna go bat-shit crazy,” he says, confirming what I already know without a single doubt in my mind.

“If you have such strong feelings about Missy and the safety of my balls, why didn’t you say something before?”

He doesn’t miss a beat, doesn’t hesitate, and he doesn’t avoid my eyes. Brock lays it out straight like he always does. “You two have this twisted way that you seem to get off on.” He shrugs. “I figured you liked fighting with her.”

The truth hurts. I find it sad that even outsiders think we get off on the pain.

“Is that the kind of man you take me for?”

My longtime friend looks me straight on. “Yeah. Where the hell have you been? You do get off on it. She does, too. It’s just the way you guys work. I don’t know if it’s the shit with Tatiana and Hitmaker or the blow you took to your head, but I’m glad you’re ending this before she fucking cuts your ass . . . or worse.”

Before we can make our exit, the shit storm that is my ex-girlfriend blows in.

“Jason, you are not leaving me!” she screams as Brock takes a bag of clothes and necessities out to the truck.

I only needed to get a few things and the keys to my car and bike so I can get set up somewhere else. If she doesn’t pour bleach on the rest of my shit or light it on fire, I will get it once I have a new place to call home.

She slaps at my chest. My body is already in pain, and she only brings the blood rushing to the skin, making it sting with every hit.

“You. Are. Not. Leaving. Me.”

“It’s done, Missy. Get your hands off me.”

When she slaps me hard across my swollen and battered face, I step back. My cheek throbs and my head pounds, but I will not give her what she wants.

“Come on, Jason, give it back to me. Give me something. Don’t you leave!”

I step to the side, and she steps with me.

I just want to get away from her. I want out.

“This isn’t healthy.” I want to give in to the monster inside me. However, I know if I do, I will hate myself for it and then feel the need to comfort her. The cycle will begin again when this has to stop now.

She swings her purse at my head. The chain catches on my cheek and cuts me open. I feel the blood run down, but I don’t advance on her, even as my every instinct screams at me to teach her a lesson.

If you want to hit someone like a man, be ready to take it back like a man, whether you have a dick or not.

She is pushing me. I will not give in to my urges. I will not put my hands on her. She will not get me to that place.

She keeps swinging her purse at my face and head. I back up. I clench my fists open and closed.

I want to hit her. I want to give her the pain. I want to let the rage explode. I have to get out of here.

Brock comes back in and watches, wide-eyed.

“Missy, fucking stop it, bitch!” my longtime friend commands, but she only swings harder.

“Bitch! Yeah, I’m a bitch! Jason made me this way!” Tears stream down her face. “Look at what you’ve done to me! Look, Jay! Look at the mess you’ve made of me, of us. You can’t leave. You can’t leave me like this.”

Reaching out, I grab each of her arms firmly, and she freezes, bracing for impact.

Picking her up, I move her out of my way, and then I walk off toward Brock with her chasing me. She jumps on my back while I keep walking, dragging her out with me. I am twice her size. I could easily knock her out. However, I’m fighting the darkness inside of me. I will not hurt her.

“Missy, stop this now. It’s over. This isn’t healthy,” I say, choking as she wraps her arms around my neck, trying to hold on to me. At the doorway, I reach up and force her wrists apart. “Done, Missy. We’re done.”

Pushing back, she falls on her ass, crying out as I keep walking. I don’t look back.

I drop my stuff in the room at the Extended Stay and quickly follow up with my boss so that my job won’t be in jeopardy from my absence. I got lucky the fight was on a Friday night. Now I just need to get a few days off to heal so no one will question what my outside activities are. I can take this time to find a new place to live and get my shit from Missy’s. I’ll also take the cash for the next three months’ payments to the branch manager at the bank so that is handled.