Break Me

I don’t want Lo to be a replacement for anything in anyone’s eyes.

Missy and I were long done; I just didn’t want to face it. We were so bad for each other. Love shouldn’t be pain. Tatiana told me that. I can see it now. If you love someone, you should swallow your pride at times and walk away, not push until the evil spews out.

Once upon a time, we had a chance for something, but it wasn’t meant to be. She’s a crazy bitch, yet I do hope she finds someone to balance her instead of push her.

I know that’s what I need. I don’t need someone who gets off on my anger. I need someone who knows when to pull my head out of my ass and also when to back off and let me come around on my own. I see that potential in Lo. I see the good we could be for each other.

Brock’s wrong. It’s not replacing one obsession with another; it’s holding on to hope. It’s holding on to the idea that, as dark as I am inside, there is a light and a chance I can break the cycle.

Rushing inside, I don’t pay attention when I hit the check-in station to get buzzed back to the emergency department for Lo. When a dark-haired woman steps from behind a desk to grab my arm before I head to the door, I am shaken into the moment. Her eyes meet mine and I need her to let me go. With a wink and a dreamy kind of smile, the lady clicks the button, opening the door.

At the station, I see Lo talking to none other than Dr. Bennett. Fury fills me as I walk up to him talking about her coming home again.

“I’ll give it some thought. I need to sort everything out with the house being on the market,” she softly replies with her back to me.

His eyes meet mine as he pulls her to him for a hug. “You belong with us. Come home and we can help you with the house and deciding what comes next.”

She backs away. “I know.”

Two words and I feel like everything is for nothing.

Why did I ever think I could hold on to something good even if it’s tangled up in a mess? She knows? What does she know? She knows she belongs with them? She’s wrong; she belongs with me.

Setting the Styrofoam container on the counter beside them, I don’t speak as she looks over her shoulder at me. I won’t push her. I have done that before, and it ended up killing a piece of me and Missy. Pushing each other only destroyed what once had the potential to be something beautiful.

“Jason,” she says with a smile, not knowing I heard their little chat. Dr. Bennett knows, though. He stands there smugly without giving me time with her in private.

I take her by the waist and pull her to me, kissing her temple, and she moves into me with a soft sigh.

“Brought you lunch. I’ve gotta get back to work.”

She blinks up at me, her angel eyes calming the monster inside me. “Okay, thank you. I’ll see you at home.” She slips out of my embrace, and I stare at her.

“Is it home?” I whisper then turn away to leave.

“Jason,” she calls out, and I turn to look over my shoulder. “With you, it is.”

“Remember that, then,” I say before I stroll away. I feel her eyes on me, but I refuse to look back again.

Going back to work, I’m amped up. What is the Bennett family’s deal? Why the obsession with Lorraine? Heidi was Ryan’s woman, and she is dead. I get the connection, but these people are taking it too far.

The more I’m around Lo, the more I want to protect her, the more I need to provide for her, and the more I simply need her.

Taking off mid-afternoon, I head to the gym. I’m in the locker room, wrapping my hands, when I see movement out of the corner of my eye. The tattoo taunts me. In seconds, I’m up and slamming him into a locker before he can react.

“You and your fucking crew knocked me out and left me.” I press my forearm into his throat as he tries to pull me off.

“Hey, man, I didn’t know they would do that. You had me; they handled it.” His knee comes up and connects with my balls.

I back up and fight to catch my breath. He’s not quick enough, and I recover, slamming him back into the lockers, making the metal clang again.

“Cheap shot, cheating ass, bitch boy. Watch yourself, Chainz. There won’t be a next time for you to get me down.”

Brock comes in and pulls me off him. “Not here, man. You know they won’t tolerate damages and insurance shit.” He looks at Chainz. “Not so tough when you don’t have your boys at your back. Watch yourself.”