‘You must be exhausted, and so stressed after everything that has happened.’
‘I’m just relieved. And worried about poor Isis.’
‘I am assured by the vet that she is going to be fine. And, on the subject of being fine, I have good news about your sister. Salem contacted me half an hour ago, when we were with Isis. He has Yasmin safe.’
‘Really?’ The tears still flowed and Layla wondered what on earth the matter was with her that she couldn’t get through five minutes without crying. ‘You’re sure? It’s really her?’
‘Salem says he has never met a woman who talks as much as she does.’
‘Then it’s definitely her.’ Layla was laughing with relief and happiness as she hugged Raz. ‘Thank you. You were right to have faith in your brother.’
‘So now we have your sister safe, Hassan and Nadia off the scene and Isis recovering, perhaps we can finally focus on our own relationship, habibti. There are things I must say to you.’
Not now.
She kept her face pressed to his chest so that he couldn’t see the change in her expression. She couldn’t cope with any more trauma in one night. Couldn’t cope with hearing him tell her again that he couldn’t ever love another woman.
‘There is nothing to say. And we ought to check on Zahra—’
‘Zahra is fine for the moment.’ He eased her away from him so that she was forced to look at him. ‘I have never felt fear as I felt it tonight.’
Hearing the change in his voice, Layla pushed down her own feelings. It was selfish of her to think of herself when he was also in shock. ‘It must have been terrible for you, being so afraid for your daughter.’
‘I wasn’t only afraid for my daughter.’ He took her face in his hands and the expression in his eyes made her catch her breath.
‘Raz—’
‘Don’t speak.’ He covered her mouth with his fingers. ‘There are things I have to say and I need to say them without interruption. I owe you an apology.’ His words thickened. ‘You came to me that night in the desert and I was cold, distant and uncaring. I was so hard on you and it shames me to remember it.’
‘It shouldn’t. I thought your behaviour was very restrained in the circumstances.’
‘I should have asked more questions that night. I should have suspected that you had suffered great trauma. But I looked no deeper than the surface and I cannot forgive myself for that.’
‘I probably wouldn’t have told you even had you asked,’ Layla mumbled. ‘And you behaved very decently towards me, given everything my family has done to yours.’
‘I pride myself on being fair and treating everyone as an individual. You are not responsible for the sins of your family.’
‘But you didn’t know that. Given everything that had happened, you would have been less than human had you not had reservations about me. You were protecting your family and you would not be the man you are had you not done that. It’s one of the things I love about you.’ The words slipped out without thought and she saw his eyes darken. ‘Respect and admire you,’ she said quickly. ‘I meant that it is one of the things I respect and admire about you.’
‘Is that what you meant?’
‘Yes.’ Trapped, she averted her head, but he caught her chin in his fingers and gently forced her to look at him. ‘Raz—’
‘You were the one who insisted on honesty in this relationship. You’ve never been afraid to tell me the truth before. You weren’t afraid to tell me I was wrong to trust Nadia and that I shouldn’t have kept my daughter’s existence a secret from you. You weren’t afraid to ask about Nisa, even though most people dare not broach that subject with me. Why would you be afraid to tell me the truth about your feelings?’
Why? Because she wasn’t sure she could handle his response.
‘Feelings were never part of the deal when we married.’
‘That is true. But life does not stand still—as we have both discovered. People change. Feelings change. Pain we believe we cannot endure we somehow learn to live alongside. Although I am pleased to have your respect and your admiration, I would so much rather have the first thing you were offering, habibti.’ His voice husky, he looked down into her eyes. ‘Tell me why you were awake last night. The truth.’
‘I couldn’t sleep.’
‘Why couldn’t you sleep?’