“Walking is good for humans, and I’m more human than ever right now, though I’m slightly tempted to just—” I thrust my hands forward.
“To hit things?”
I do the same motion again. “You’d make a terrible charades partner. To be fair, so would I.” I shrug. “I mean use my angel-powers so the baby grows super fast and I can pop her out.”
“That’s not how giving birth works. You have to push her out of your—”
“I know. It’s another weird human phrase, I guess.” I unbuckle, grab my purse, and get out of the car, locking it once Julian is out. “Do you have a preference on what to get to eat?”
“Food.”
I laugh and nudge him with my arm. “No shit. Any certain type of food?”
“You choose. I don’t eat on a regular basis like you do.”
“Fair enough,” I say, and we go down the street. There’s a group of protesters on a corner, across from a store with a Love is Love poster in rainbow letters hanging in the window. “Ugh, scourge of the earth. Don’t make eye contact and keep walking,” I tell Julian when I see one of the protester’s cardboard signs.
Of course, Julian slows, reading a sign that says Mistakes don’t get into heaven above a badly drawn pride flag with a big X through it.
“That is incorrect,” Julian tells the man holding the sign.
“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about, buddy,” the man retorts.
“Trust me, asshole, he does,” I say, unable to help myself. “Your sign is insinuating being gay is a mistake. It’s not. You really need to listen to some Lady Gaga. God makes no mistakes, though I’m not so certain I can stand by that looking at you.”
“Fuck you, bitch.”
Julian steps in front of me, eyes flashing blue for a quick second. “You try to tell others what’s right and wrong and yet you talk to others that way? It seems you’re the one in need of forgiveness.”
The guy is taken aback, blinking rapidly and probably trying to convince himself that what he saw was just some sort of light reflection. Before he can come back at us with another stupid insult, I flick my wrist, and the sign slips out of his hand. He goes to pick it up, and I send it flying into the street, carried away by an invisible breeze. The man turns to grab it and trips. Stifling a laugh, I grab Julian’s hand and start walking down the street again.
“He is wrong,” Julian starts. “But you shouldn’t have done that.”
“Really? All I did was make that homophobe get more exercise chasing that sign for five minutes than he gets all week.”
Julian gives me a sour look, but his distain isn’t as much with me as it is with him, wrestling with the right thing to do. “He will be punished.”
“Yeah, in like twenty years. Maybe ten, because I get the feeling he eats a lot of fast food. He’ll end up in Hell eventually, but in the meantime, he’s going to make it Hell on earth for others.” I look at my cousin. “You’re a fucking angel of the Lord, Julian. Show off that badassery every now and then, okay?”
“My ass is bad?” He turns, looking at his rear end with concern.
“I’m not going to say it’s not, since we’re related and all, but it’s a figure of speech, Jules. You should totally shove off those hateful bigots. Again, you’re an angel. You know a hell of a lot more than Billy-Bob-Joe says.”
“That’s not what being an angel is about, though you do present an interesting case.”
“I do?”
“Yes,” he says with certainty. “Punish the wicked while on earth and avoid human suffering.”
“That’s something I can get behind.”
“The others won’t.”
“The other angels?” I ask.
“Yes. Archangels, specifically. They are rather stuck in their ways.”
“Why?” I slow, looking at a Japanese restaurant that serves fresh sushi. I don’t even like sushi, yet not being able to eat it is making me want it.
“I don’t know for certain.”
“But you have a theory,” I encourage.
“Yes. Deviating from the current path means opening up a chance for forgiveness for Lucifer. Lucifer and your father used to be close. They had an obvious falling out when Lucifer rebelled, but it’s also obvious your father still cares deeply for him. He entrusted Lucifer with you, after all.”
“And if Lucifer gets back in good graces, he and my dad would be in the clear for a team-up. Uriel doesn’t want that, so he’s trying to make my dad seem like a bad guy.”
“Right. That’s enough shop talk, as they said in the movie. You’re supposed to be enjoying the day and staying stress-free.”
“Lucas talked to you, didn’t he?”
“He didn’t have to. I might not be well-versed in all things human, but I know enough. You’re pregnant with a child who has divinity in her blood. If you weren’t half archangel yourself, you’d be facing the very real fact of dying during childbirth. You need to take care of the physical body you’re walking around in so you and your baby have the strength needed to get through the rest of this pregnancy.”