She grins at me after I toss her sweater away. She fumbles with her bra, cursing when she can’t get the hooks undone. Finally, she wrenches it down, spins it around her waist, and rips at the hooks from the other side.
That’s an impressive trick. I’ll have to remember that as bras can be devious, beastly contraptions.
“Heavens, yes. I’d like that. I’d like it if you were more than friends with them because I don’t want to be in the friendzone anymore. I want to keep doing this, being in the cursed zone.”
“I want to do this with you even if the curse isn’t real.”
“That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
I hear her words, but I’m staring at the perfect twin globes of her breasts. Good sweet baby peas, are they ever perfect. Pale and round with raspberry-hued nipples. My body heats up, and my dick is now harder than a lead pipe. If I took my jeans off, which I’m trying very hard to do, but my wooden fingers won’t obey, it would probably slap me upside the head and knock me out. Wouldn’t that be a hilarious sex injury-related story?
Man clubbed in the head with his own dick. Yeah. Wow.
“I swear this is the first time I’ve thought lusty thoughts about your boobs,” I say while I’m looking right at them.
Elodie’s hands freeze on her jeans. She has the top button open, and the sweet dark lace of her panties is peeking out. Did I say clubbed in the head? I think it would be more like being assaulted with a baseball bat. Except, you know, it wouldn’t be a bat. It would be my own cock.
“What’s wrong?” I ask when Elodie inhales deeply. I’ve known her for so long that I know deep inhales that shudder slightly at the end aren’t a good thing. Unless they come when watching a scary movie. Because then, they’re acceptable.
“It’s just that…” I look up at her face this time. “You’ve never seen me naked.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Okay, when we were kids doesn’t count.”
“I’ve seen you in a bikini before.”
“That’s different. You’ve only seen me semi-naked. You haven’t seen the bits. Not like this.”
“I promise I’ll adore your bits. All your bits. You’re so beautiful, Ell.”
Since I can tell she’s nervous, I go first. I undo my jeans and slip out of them. Then I chuck my T-shirt to the floor and peel off my socks because is there anything less sexy than a guy standing there in his boxers and socks? I suppose it might be awkwardly endearing, but that’s not what I’m going for right now. I peel my boxers away without any hesitation, but on the inside, I’m freaking out just a tad. I see what Elodie meant about not seeing each other naked before. It’s been a long time since we got super dirty when we were eight and had to have a bath together. My mom gave it to us. I know Elodie’s mom wouldn’t have done something like that. We wore our little kid underwear, though, so I guess we weren’t totally naked either. And there were a lot of bubbles and about six thousand bath toys to separate us.
My cock bobs up, and nope, it’s not long enough to hit me upside the head. Thank goodness. I didn’t want to be cold-cocked by my own cock. Geez, what a play on words that is. Gobsmacked by my own dick? I’m just going to quit while I’m ahead. This is getting terrible.
“Oh,” Elodie whispers. “Oh. I see. Um, you have…uh, your weenus is kind of…it’s really big. I didn’t expect that.”
My mouth drops open, and I gape at her.
“I mean, I never thought about it. I never…uh, I just didn’t…is that a normal size weenus? I think most people don’t have them that big. Yours must be supersized.”
I see. Thank the stars. I thought she was underwhelmed for a moment there. Not that it would matter to Ell. I know it wouldn’t. But still. I was sweating and doing some mental spreadsheets about the probability of satisfying her in other ways with other tools. I might also have been going through lists of various best positions to increase pleasure.
For the record, I know my dick is not small.
I was just irrationally worried. For like, one second. That’s all.
“Is it too big?” Now I’m worried about that because she keeps looking at it like she’s a little bit afraid. Her breathing has shallowed out.
“Oh. No. I don’t think so. I…no. It’s just that looking at it makes me…Uh, I can’t. I can’t stop looking at it. It’s making me wet in the panties.”
Holy. Shit. I swear my dick just grew an extra inch. I know my balls certainly tightened. Now they’re more like beach balls. Tighter, bigger, but lighter? No, they’re certainly not lighter. They’re just the size of beach balls. I look down to confirm they’re still my usual nut size. I guess they just feel like they’re getting that big.