'They're about the same size'
Is that Ezra's size anymore, though? I blow my breath out and laugh at myself. I spend the next few hours doing some of the leg work for one of my big surprises. This one's going to surprise Mom and Carl as much as Ezra. It’s less of a gift and more of a…shift. But I hope everyone will be okay about it. I know I'm feeling okay as hell.
I'm almost finished with the calls I'm making when my doorbell rings. I open it slowly, and there's Jenna. She's got her hair in braided pigtails and she's chewing Bubble Yum, which makes my stomach do a little twist.
"Look who is it. The woman herself. Were your ears burning? Mom just called and said your mom said that you're headed out."
She nods. Her brows narrow and she looks me up and down. "Look at you. The prince of loungewear. Those aren't sweatpants, are they? There's no scrunch down at the bottom. Are they 'lounge' pants?”
I can't help laughing my ass off. I usher her in, and she sniffs the air. "Are you wearing cologne?"
"No. It's shaving cream. If that. It could be your nose malfunctioning. For being nosey?"
"Who are you and where is my hot mess friend Josh? Did you take all your finals?"
"No, I just blew most of them off. Sitting here in a pile of garbage popping pills and drinking Everclear."
Jenna's eyes bug out. "Josh! Who is he? What's his name? And is he hot?"
"Are you implying I can't turn my shit around without a man?"
She gives me a no-shit look. "Um, yeah. I might be. Is there someone? Are you on antidepressants?"
I laugh again. "So much skepticism! I am not on anti-Ds, although I would be if I needed to be. Pro-meds here." I flash a peace sign.
"That's a real smile." She pinches my cheeks, and then she's got her arm around my shoulders, and she's hanging from my neck like some kind of insane monkey.
"Jenna, Jenna... Perhaps the real inquiry that should be made is how are you?" I pat her back. "Starved for affection?"
"Shuddup, Josh. Don't play that shit with me." She lets go of my neck and peers up at me. “You scared me to death. I was so worried. And I've been worried. And now I'm not because you look so healthy. Like the old Josh. So I'm about to sit down on this couch, and you're going to tell me what happened to fix you. Every single detail." She sits, crossing her legs. "But for reals. Who is it?"
"Jenn, I started doing yoga, found a therapist, and got my teeth cleaned. Getting eight hours and two liters a day of water. There's no boy here." I grin, and she pats my couch's cushion.
"You are full of bullshit. Come sit here and tell me all the bullshit. Right now, cause I'm rolling out in forty minutes to be home in time for Mom’s parm casserole."
I beat around the bush a few more minutes, drumming up dramatic energy. When I tell Jenna, she literally screams. By the time she leaves my place a full fifty minutes later, she looks like she's been through all the phases of grief.
"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Like seriously ever. Jesus, Joshie. I won't tell. And be good to him. Y'all give each other so many hugs. And maybe bring him by for Christmas? We could...I don't know...like go for a walk. Something?"
I smile. "Something. Promise."
When she's gone, I lie on the couch and stare up at the ceiling, cataloguing everything I told her. It wasn't much. I told her Ezra’s mom's a piece of shit and forced him into inpatient—all because she can’t accept him being gay and views it as a mental issue. I told her they did electroconvulsive therapy and that he lost his memory, but that's all. And I feel bad even for that. But there was no way to tell Jenna—my most ride or die friend—that I was back with Ezra and have her understand unless she knew why he had ghosted me. Her wrath for him had been…significant.
Ez calls right after, and I can't keep a secret. I blurt out what I told Jenna, and to my relief, he's understanding.
"I get it. She's your best friend, that's what you said, right? I bet she was pissed as hell that I hurt you. Like any good friend."
"She's not now. And you're not upset?"
"Nah. It's gonna get out somehow. To at least the people that I knew from Fairplay."
"So...um...that reminds me. Christmas? You onboard for that shit?"
"Christmas?” He sounds surprised. “I don't know. You're going down there?"
"Yeah. I sort of wanted to. But not without you. Anyway, it doesn't matter right now. We'll discuss it later. First let's get you here and get you all sexed up and then eat birthday pizza and get birthday cupcakes."