"It's weird to know my dad and your mom again,” I tell him when he comes back. “Overnight."
He laughs. "I bet.”
I’m trying to keep a hold on things, but it’s…unmooring. Even as I feel like shit about my past with Miller, I just want to fucking hug him, to be soothed by him.
I inhale, scrunching my brows. "What's that smell?"
"It’s Christmas cookies. You want?"
That reminds me of something—which makes me laugh. "Sugar is bad for you. I remember now, I had that idea down here. I was going to detox my whole body, and I was trying to go lite on sugar."
"Fucked that up for you," Mills says.
"You did. All those damn donuts. Hey, wait, Miller. I just thought of something. Since I remembered, I could see your mom and Carl, and I wouldn't have to explain why I don't know who they are now. Because…now I do know."
Josh laughs. "That's right. Shit, we're slow on the uptake.”
"Maybe I should tell him anyway,” I muse. “Just to get it off my chest."
"Maybe you should,” Mills says. “It's up to you."
"What are they doing tomorrow?" I ask.
"Seeing Ezra Masters in the flesh. The football star. The beautiful angel I’m in love with. Everybody’s gonna love you up. Feed you cookies. That's the whole plan."
"They might not feel how you do,” I say quietly.
"They're gonna feel exactly how I do. Listen, Ezra. Dinner's coming up, like in an hour. Don't stay up here for it. Let me unveil you as my new boyfriend. They're not mad. They'll be thrilled to see you. Plus, it’ll be sort of funny."
Josh
Beer battered chicken. It was always one of Ezra’s favorites, so I'm grinning as I walk into the kitchen. Mom's got on her Christmas apron—deep red with "We whisk you a Merry Christmas" in pale blue script. She's pulling something out of the oven. It's that pineapple, ritz, and cheese casserole she does for the holidays.
"Um, hey Mom?"
She sets it on the island and blinks up at me. I can't help laughing just from nerves.
"Yes, Joshua?"
I try to hide my grin. "Uh, where is Carl?"
"He's outside getting that broccoli casserole out of the car. I left it in the floorboard."
"Okay." I bite my lip, and Mom's eyes bug out. "You look…something."
"I have a surprise,” I say. “I might. But I need you and Carl to crack open a beer first. Drink like half of it—you know, half each. And both get really, really chill. Before I show you the surprise."
My mom is beaming. "Would this be a...living surprise?"
"Yes. It would be. And it's not a puppy." I open the fridge, pull out two Corona Lights, and pop one open for her. "Drink up."
Carl comes into the room, and Mom is grinning as she holds her beer up. "Look what Josh is mandating. He wants us to drink beer. Before he brings his boyfriend over."
I tell Carl sorry with my eyes—just because, right now, he doesn't know it's Ezra. I don't want to hurt him making him think I moved on from his son. Which is…just so fucking weird. This all is.
"I wanna see you both chug like four sips,” I tell them. “Then I'll go and get my surprise."
Mom opens Carl's top for him, like he can't do it himself, and I watch with a ridiculous grin as they both chug.
"You've gotta be nice to him," I murmur. "Really nice. Don't make it awkward. We need some unconditional good will up in here. Can you both promise?"
Carl looks puzzled, but my mom is nodding. "I'll get out the fourth plate right now. And Ezra's—the spare bedroom—has been readied."
I grin at them both, feeling like I'm the one who just had a beer. "Perfect. We'll be in here shortly."
Upstairs, I escort Ezra to his room and pick out clothes for him. He sits on the foot of his bed, looking wide-eyed and a little forlorn.
"This bedroom can't get you, angel. We've moved way past all that."
"Have we?" he asks. His voice sounds rough.
"Oh yeah. It’s a new timeline now, baby. College timeline."
I lay out some navy sweats and a white Nike sweatshirt on the bed beside him. "Does this seem okay? Too casual?"
He nods. "It's good." He pulls out his phone and looks at himself in the camera. "I guess my hair is darker. I don't remember why it got cut. It was near the ECT time. I think right after,” he says, looking pensive. "There’s still some days around there that feel hazy.”
I run my hands over his soft hair. “Dude, you look fucking amazing. I love how it's shorter on the sides, still, and it's hanging in your forehead a little." Ezra rubs his fingers through it.
"You look healthy. Fucking gorgeous. They know only what you tell them. We're young, we're both their kids, they’re gonna be happy, and we're about to spend Christmas humping like a couple of reindeer here under their roof. It's all gravy, man. I promise."