More Than Possess You

“You’re worried she’ll hurt you?” Liddy’s tone makes it clear that notion is ridiculous. “Bah.”

“Not intentionally. Echo’s heart is too big.”

“Ah, you’re worried you’ll hurt her?”

“Yeah.” That would kill me. “You said I’m nothing like Dad, but…” Technically, I’ve never been unfaithful to a girlfriend, but only because I’ve never felt compelled enough to take one. “He tore Mom apart.” Me, too. Watching my mother stifle tears to put on those terrible brave faces and lie to me about why Dad wasn’t coming home again was horrible.

And what kind of lover am I that I haven’t called—or even thought of—Jayci the whole time I’ve been in Maui. I just ignored the one message she sent me. Not that we’re together or exclusive, but I’ve been banging her for months. Shouldn’t I be missing her at least a little?

“Listen to me, young man. Your father wasn’t capable of love.”

“I know. And I have his genes.”

“You think one of your chromosomes decides whether you’re a philandering asshole?” I can practically hear my grandmother rolling her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s about your heart, and you have a kind one. You’re nothing like your father. You’ve always been a sweet boy. Do you remember when you used to pick flowers from the backyard for me?”

Gramma kept a big garden out back, and when I spent summers with her, I’d pluck her prettiest blooms and give them to her because she’d always smile as she put them in a big vase on the kitchen table so she could ooh and aah. The memory makes me wince. “Yeah, sorry about that. I know those flowers were your pride and joy.”

“Nonsense. More always bloomed, and I loved you bringing them to me. Why did you pick them for me? Because you wanted me to be happy, right?”

“Of course.” In some ways, Gramma Liddy was more like a mother to me than my own.

“Because you care about others. Your father, on the other hand, got a thrill out of riding his bike through my garden to kill the flowers because he enjoyed everyone else’s misery. He took particular delight in breaking your mother’s heart over and over because she suffered horribly and was too weak to stop him.”

I can’t argue with that. “But being a good kid is no indication that I’d be a good husband.”

God, am I even thinking about that kind of commitment with Echo?

“I see you’re determined to play devil’s advocate. You get that from me, by the way.” She laughs wryly.

I probably do. “Habit.”

“How about this? Hypothetically, remove sex from the equation.”

We’re talking about that now? “Gramma—”

“Don’t be embarrassed. Sex is natural. After all, you wouldn’t be here if I’d never had it. But sex isn’t relevant to this discussion.”

I wince. It’s also not comfortable hearing about my grandparents getting frisky or whatever they called it back then. “What’s your point?”

“I’m getting there. And don’t give me the tripe that, because you’re a man, not thinking about sex is impossible.”

Maybe not impossible, but deeply, highly, incredibly difficult. Still… “You don’t understand.”

She sighs noisily. “Echo may not be a supermodel, but she’s a cute girl. Certainly, you find something attractive about her. Whatever it is, you can build from there. After all, people fall in love not with the body, but with the soul.”

“Gramma, Echo is beautiful. We have great chemistry. Sex—if we have it—isn’t going to be the problem.”

“You two haven’t yet?”

“She’s been waiting for someone special. I don’t know if that’s me.”

“It is. Hear me out. How long has Echo been your closest friend?”

“Almost eighteen years.”

It’s crazy that we’ve been besties that long. Sometimes it seems like another lifetime ago that we were two kids sitting in the elementary school’s front office, both on our first day in a new place. And sometimes I’d swear it was last week. Echo said hello first. She offered me a Red Vine, then she asked me where I’d moved from and why I talked funny. I’ve since lost my Boston accent but thankfully kept the friend.

“You help each other.”

I shrug. “That’s what friends do.”

“You protect her.”

“Of course. I care what happens to her.”

“She’s always been there for you.”

“Echo is there for everyone. Hell, she’s taking a job assisting underprivileged kids.”

“Just like you’ve always been there for her.”

“Because she’s needed it. The only other people she could count on were her sisters. Now that they’re married and they’ve moved away…”

“You’re taking care of her. Why would you do that, Hayes? Ask yourself.”

My grandmother is backing me into a corner. The mental space is getting tight. I don’t like it.

“That doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.” Does it?

“Why do you spend so much time with Echo? Why do you take her camping when you go with your guy friends? Why did you bring her to Hawaii?”

“I like being with her. She’s fun. She’s chill. She’s sweet. She’s easy to talk to.” She’s also sexy as fuck and blows my doors off every time I kiss her.