He didn’t respond right away, simply kept kneading and pressing, circling and gentling the foot he cradled in his hand. How the fuck should he answer her? Certainly, he couldn’t tell her that he’d first approached her, because he’d schemed to use her to make Hammer jealous. Nor could he confess that something he couldn’t explain had happened along the way. That their first kiss had blown his plans to hell. That he couldn’t imagine letting her go now.
“Knight in shining armor, not exactly. But a Dominant who can’t stand seeing a sub so starved. The guilt is written all over your face. And I won’t say I’m happy with your choices. There will be consequences. But you can repay me by learning, and this time, giving me your trust and honesty. Can you do that, Raine?”
“I don’t know. How I can be afraid of something I’ve wanted so badly for so long?”
He watched her struggle to hold in her tears. She tossed her head back, furiously blinking them away with sheer will.
“If you need to cry, then cry, lass. Let it out.”
She shook her head, her mouth tightening mulishly. “If I’m going to cry over anything, it’s going to be because I was stupid. I’d rather learn from my mistake and move on.”
“Fair enough. Why do you think you can’t give me your trust and honesty?”
Raine didn’t answer right away. “I’m not...very good with either one. I never learned as a kid. I haven’t had much practice at Shadows. I even lied to myself that Hammer could love me as more than a little pet. I don’t think he knows how to be honest, either. To get rid of me, he spouted a bunch of crap about having a wife who was a slave that you shared with him. I wish he’d have saved the B.S. I could have filled in the blanks with a better lie of my own.”
“What makes you think he lied? Juliet was lovely, but sadly flawed, like most of us. She seemed the most devoted slave to Hammer.” Liam kept talking into Raine’s stunned expression. “Yes, we shared her on occasion, but the lesson you should take from her tale isn’t obedience, though that would be nice… But what you should learn that she tragically never did is communication. We rely on it in the power exchange. It’s as essential as the air we breathe. You’ll learn to give me your tears and your broken heart. I would have your pain, just as I will your pleasure.”
Liam lifted her then, as easily as he would a child, and sat her on his lap. Holding her to him and surrounding her with his strength, he rocked her, stroking her until the terrible pain she’d been holding in for so long couldn’t be silenced a moment longer. She wept long, hot tears.
“Get it all out. Just hold on to me tight and let it go.”
She hid her face from him, but couldn’t stop her sobbing. “I don’t know how to do this, cry and bleed in front of someone. I feel too exposed. It hurts too much.” She shook her head, struggling for each shuddering breath as she fought to contain her emotions. “He didn’t tell me what happened to Juliet—god, she even sounds pretty—but I’d lay money I’m far worse at communicating than she was.” She sat back from him, curling her arms around her middle. “And I’m not going to be good for you. You’ll split me open like a ripe peach, all right, but you won’t like the rotting core underneath. I can’t stand that, without meaning to, I’ve come between you and your best friend. I’m like an atomic bomb everywhere I go. Destructive. Stupid. Thoughtless. You should cut your losses and let me go. I owe you too much to stay and screw up your life.” She yanked from his grip altogether and climbed from the tub, then raced for the door.
The pain in her voice told him that her terrible guilt only fed her inadequacies. She would dart, even naked, into the cold. Yes, to save herself. But everything about her expression said she actually believed she’d be saving him, too.
Liam acted quickly. Chasing her put the control in her hands. Time to wrench it away.
“Stop! Present yourself, sub.”
Her body froze. Liam could almost hear her determination to flee fighting with her need to submit to his Dominance. He waited a moment, letting his command sink in. Then, with a sob, she fell to her knees on the tile and assumed the pose. Her shoulders still shook, and her breath still shuddered. He waited as she composed herself, soaping his body and rinsing. He saw the moment she chose to heed the submissive within. Her breath evened out. Her body relaxed. Her mind seemed to quiet. And Liam just watched.