She nodded solemnly, and he knew that he had her attention.
“As you probably know, Hammer isn’t the only one who was married...”
She watched him with unblinking eyes, her questions lurking in her gaze. “I’m listening.”
“After Juliet passed away and Hammer moved out here, I met Gwyneth, a seemingly lovely English rose from an aristocratic family on holiday in New York. I was rich. She was pretty. We had similar interests and appetites. So I married her. It seemed that we had found that elusive something idyllic for a time. Then…I discovered Gwyneth cheating. I returned home unexpectedly after a business trip to find her on her knees as her supposedly gay personal trainer fucked her while she gave his life partner head.”
Raine paled. “Oh my god…”
Liam took a long drink of his wine, cut another slice of the moist, succulent steak, and savored it for a moment. “To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I thought we were happy, that she’d be the mother of my children. I had plans for our future. In an instant, I buried them. I realized that I’d married her because it seemed logical, not because I’d loved her. When she wanted a divorce, I let her go. I didn’t care enough anymore to fight. But that sour taste of betrayal is something that, even now, triggers me...” Again, he paused, allowing his words to sink in. “You’re not the only one with trust issues, Raine. So seeing you with Hammer this morning…”
“Brought it all back.” Guilt tortured her face. She dropped her fork. “I’m so sorry.”
Actually, Gwyneth’s perfidy had enraged him. Raine’s had fucking torn at his heart, so much that Liam barely understood. But he kept that to himself.
“I didn’t realize…” Her face pleaded for forgiveness.
He leveled a considering stare her way. “I understand that what happened between you and Hammer was not just two people fucking for mere sex. He wanted you as much as you wanted him. I’d like to, but I can’t blame you for giving yourself to the man you’ve long believed that you loved, though your timing was frankly lousy. Whether intentional or not, you agreed to something that I hold dear, then tossed it aside without so much as a backward glance when Hammer looked your way. Understand, Raine, that trust will be hard won from me, too. And if you ever violate it again like that, we’ll be done.”
She swallowed, looking stricken, and he realized that she’d stopped eating long ago. “I understand.”
“Finish your steak.” He waited until she picked up her fork again.
“Liam…I truly never meant to hurt you. I really am sorry.” She looked at her plate, face filled with contrition. It was on the tip of his tongue to reassure her, but it might be good for her to think about what he’d said. He wanted this to work, but she needed to understand what would kill their growing relationship faster than anything.
Liam shook his head, thinking about the slew of messages from Hammer. Had the man been trying to get Raine pregnant as a way of tying her to him, even unconsciously? Or maybe fucking her without protection had been completely premeditated, to get him back for claiming her as his own. Liam gnashed his teeth.
“Does something not taste good?” Raine asked quietly from across the table. “I’ll remake whatever it is.”
“It’s all lovely, lass. Excellent, as always.” He noticed that she’d set her fork aside again and her napkin on the table. Her plate was still more than half full. “Why aren’t you eating?”
“I’m not good at that when I’m upset. Maybe I’ll reheat it later. Do you want seconds of something? I’ll get it for you.”
And there was the natural submissive. She wanted to feed him. It was her way of comforting and serving. Though the thought that Hammer may have gotten her pregnant made him violent, he could see that she’d make a wonderful mother.
“No. Thank you. I’d see you eat another few bites, though. You’ve scarce eaten enough for a bird.”
“I don’t think I can. Please... Not now. Maybe my stomach won’t be turning later.”
“You’ll eat a few more bites of your meat and salad.”
Raine wrinkled her nose, but managed to choke back a few more mouthfuls, then she started turning green. He stopped her with a raised hand.
“Enough. Is there something on your mind?”
She wrung her hands. “I should have thought far more about who I was affecting and how it might hurt you before I said yes to Hammer. But I didn’t think much past the fact that I’d waited and loved him for so long, and if I said no, then I’d never know…”
“What he felt like? If he could love you in return? If it could work with him?” he leveled a heavy stare that told her he’d already guessed every one of her reasons.