And this lemonade tasted exactly like those slushes from back in the day.
My eyes rounded slightly when Mirabel pushed up from the bar and poked Will in the chest with a long fingernail.
“You’ll have to let me get your order, because I wouldn’t put it past Mirabel to spit in your food,” she mused.
I scrunched my nose up in disgust. “That’s disgusting.”
“That’s Mirabel.” She shrugged. “It’s like living with a three-year-old. At that age, they’re mostly efficient, can practically take care of themselves, but you don’t trust them not to burn down the kitchen when they feed themselves.”
I burst out laughing, covering my mouth with my hand as I did.
When I stopped laughing, it wasn’t because what she said wasn’t still hilarious, but because my eyes caught on Mirabel who tried to slap Will the moment the guy she’d been flirting with left the bar and the restaurant altogether.
“Also, you have to tell your three-year-olds not to hit,” Banger sighed.
I looked over her, and to distract myself, I asked Banger about her name.
“Is your name really Banger?” I wondered.
Banger flashed me a smile but returned her avid fascination to the spectacle before her.
“You’ll have to ask my dad,” she admitted. “I just use my name. I don’t ask about it. Asking invites him talking to me, and I try not to do that when I don’t have to.”
I tilted my head. “You work for your dad, right?”
She nodded, crossing her arms over herself slightly defensively.
“Yes,” she admitted. “But it’s either work here, or work in town, and neither one is a win. At least here, I know that I’m getting paid fairly.”
“But you’re working yourself to the bone,” I heard someone say behind me.
I whirled, not liking the fact that a man was close to us and I hadn’t realized it.
The insane fear that rose up inside of me couldn’t be tamed, even if I knew the man that’d done the speaking.
“Shit, shit, shit.” I heard my brother, Rook, groan. “Cannel, I’m sorry.”
My breathing picked up, and black spots danced in my vision.
I stumbled to my feet and started to run in the direction of the bathroom, not wanting anyone to see me have a panic attack.
I didn’t make it.
To make it to the bathroom, I had to pass by where Will and Mirabel were arguing in low tones.
I made it halfway past him, almost to the bathroom, when I heard Will call my name.
I didn’t stop until I was in the women’s bathroom, inside a stall, and sitting on the floor with my knees up around my face.
My head was resting on my knees, and my arms were locked so tightly around myself that they ached.
I heard the bathroom door open, and a rush of sound following, but my vision had already gone completely dark.
I didn’t bother looking up.
Instead, I focused on my breathing, hoping and praying that I would get it under control before it overtook me completely.
I’d been working on this—this breathing thing, the telling myself that I needed to get my shit together thing—but whatever coping mechanisms I had didn’t really do well when I was startled.
It was like all my careful work flew out the window.
Chills raced down my spine as sweat started to flicker across my brow.
I reached forward and yanked my jacket off, shoving it to my face as I trembled.
My breathing was hoarse and loud, and I knew that I wasn’t hiding it from anyone or anything.
I don’t know how long I stayed in that state.
Possibly five seconds to thirty minutes.
Who knows?
What I did know was that when I finally came to, it was to hear a man talking to me so softly and sweetly that at first I wasn’t aware that the voice was even talking to me and not someone else.
“…was a month old when I first met her and smelled like a little baby powder package. The oldest girl was adorable too, but she didn’t smell as good. Both of them were cute as buttons. My sister used to have this doll once that smelled like baby powder. I remember it vividly from my childhood because she hated me for weeks after I tore her baby doll’s head off and mounted it on my bicycle handlebars because I thought it looked cool. But that baby smelled exactly like that doll. It was unreal.”
“I think that they probably emulated those babies smelling like the baby powder because it is what most people think of when they think of a ‘baby smell,’” I whispered into my jacket.
He snorted. “Possibly. Hey, do you mind if I hug you?”
It was then I realized that this entire time, he hadn’t been touching me.
He’d given me space until I’d come to enough to realize where I was at.
I swallowed past the tears, and then all but dove into Will’s arms.