My legs wound around his waist, my arms around his back as we began a frenzy of losing our clothes.
Then we were in the shower. He pressed me against the wall.
I needed more. More of him. More of this feeling. More of everything, everywhere. Just, more.
I gasped, raking my nails down his back, and he turned me, pressing my chest to the wall. He kicked my legs apart, angled me back, and sheathed himself inside.
I groaned, my eyes closed, and savored the feel of him.
He pushed in, all the way in, and held.
I think he was savoring it, too, but then he began moving and my mind turned completely off.
I wanted him to fuck me hard.
I wanted it rough.
I wanted it long.
And when he was done, I wanted him to do it all over again. I wanted to escape, and judging by the way he gripped my hips, thrusting inside of me, I was pretty sure he needed this just as bad.
Good. Fucking good.
28
Ash
We never did blow up Oscar’s building.
It was probably a silly notion to have, but I was pissed the next day as we piled into a rented minivan and headed out.
We were now entering Arkansas. We weren’t flying because we were transporting guns. Guess that was a no-brainer. I did wonder if Raize had his other guys remain back in Texas or if they were ahead of us. I’d have to wait until we were alone, or… nope. Never mind. I didn’t want to know.
I’d already shared too much with Raize. I felt in too deep, and it was uncomfortable—like there was something writhing around under my skin and I couldn’t get it out. Part of me didn’t want to get it out. With other bosses, I’d be thinking about the next guy I might be working for by now. But with Raize, I didn’t want that. That was the “too deep” part of this situation.
It wasn’t good either.
You can never rely on someone. I mean, big picture. If you’re in a shoot-out, you’re going to rely on the people shooting next to you, but that wasn’t this particular situation.
I was thinking too much.
I needed to stop.
Other demons, other haunts tended to come out then.
Gus moved his head, laying it on my lap, and I petted him as I looked over into the car next to us on the highway. A bunch of girls were in it, all laughing, all drinking from travel mugs. One wore a University of Arkansas shirt.
Yeah…
Another life. Another world.
That wasn’t mine anymore.
It never had been.
I needed to get over it.
29
Ash
Twenty-six hours later, we were in Philadelphia. We drove straight through, stopping for food and bathroom breaks and that was about it. Everyone took a turn driving, and everyone took a turn sleeping.
Except Gus. Gus slept the entire time.
Jake, Cavers, and I carried everything into Raize’s house once we arrived. The boss took off. I was figuring he had calls to make, calls that I definitely wanted nothing to do with. We were just about done. I had the last bag and I was taking it inside.
Cavers was in the doorway. He was lingering there.
That’s right, I remembered. He doesn’t stay here with us.
Man. It felt like so long ago when we’d been here last, like a different life.
So much had changed.
Jake moved past Cavers up the stairs, Gus trailing behind him, his tail wagging.
Jake went to the second floor, giving me a lingering look. Gus sniffed my hands, but I didn’t have any treats for him, so he went on up the stairs, too.
Raize hadn’t come out of his office in the back. His bedroom was back there, too.
Jesus.
His bedroom. Where he used to party, with multiple women.
My mouth dried. Was he going to go back to those habits? Would I be mad if he did? Raize never went long without a sex party, so I needed to figure out my viewpoint on that issue real quick.
Fuck.
My mouth dried.
Yes. I’d be upset if he did.
My body was getting heated.
I’d be more than upset. I’d be pissed off.
So hell no, he wasn’t going back to that.
Well, then. I had an opinion.
“I’m not standing here for any weird reason,” Cavers announced, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I looked at him, surprised. Though supposedly working for Bronski, he hadn’t done a whole lot to work against us that I could see. He followed orders and he cooked. If he was reporting to Bronski on the downlow, Raize never shared that with me, and I had a feeling Raize would know.
I frowned. “Why are you telling me that?”
He shrugged. He was such a big man, but he’d never looked big and uncomfortable until today.
“You waiting to talk to Raize?”
His gaze moved past me to the end of the hallway. “I don’t know how long he’ll be back there.”