Heteroflexible

I swing into Jimmy’s truck and slam shut the door with a huff, then loosen my stupid tie with an aggravated tug.

Jimmy reads it all off my weary face. “Bummer.” He gives his steering wheel a halfhearted smack of his fist. “I was hopin’ this one would pan out.”

“You just want a hookup to play Mortal Kombat free,” I throw back, “and ensure ‘TBOY’ doesn’t take your top-spot again.”

“Pssh. Mr. T-Boy can try to reclaim his throne. He’ll lose.”

I pull out my phone to check my list. I tap on the last item, marking it as finished. “Well, looks like all the hooks are baited. Now I just play the waiting game, though it’s pretty obvious that even this early in the summer, everyone’s all hired up.”

“What about the church? Trey could probably use a—”

“They only do volunteer positions. Same as the soccer coaches at the park. Besides, I need money, not brownie points with Jesus. Is the AC even on in here?” I check the vents, aiming them at me.

Jimmy pats me on my leg. “We’ll find you a job, buddy. And hey, look at it this way: even if it takes a little bit, that gives us more time to hang out!” He smacks my arm so hard, it stings. I retract it with a grimace. “You gotta be drippin’ in that shirt and tie getup. It’s a hundred and fifty degrees! How are you not dead?”

“What did you expect me to do? Wear a tank-top and shorts to my interviews? I’m not tryin’ to be a lifeguard at the pool.”

“Oh, now that’s an idea! They hiring?”

“You gotta be CPR-certified. And besides, I’m not gonna sit in a chair and stare at kids picking their noses and peeing in the shallow end all day.”

Jimmy snorts and brings his knuckles to his mouth, finding that funny apparently.

I don’t.

After grabbing a quick bite for lunch, we decide to spend the afternoon being lazy bums in Jimmy’s pool—perhaps inspired by the whole lifeguard thing. It’s actually the first time I’ve been to the Strong ranch since I came back home, but Jimmy’s ma isn’t even here; she’s on some errand to Fairview that has to do with her restaurant, self-titled Nadine’s. With my shirt, tie, slacks, and dress shoes sitting on a chair by the pool, I hop into the cool water in my black boxer briefs, then sigh as I lean against the edge of the pool, enjoying myself in the warm afternoon sunlight after a long and tedious day of putting on a smile.

Then Jimmy goes and ruins it by cannonballing into the water right in front of me.

“Dang it, Jimmy!” I shout out, covering my face a second too late to prevent being splashed by water.

Jimmy—stripped down to nothing but his lucky pair of loose plaid boxers with a thick white waistband—only laughs as he hops right back out of the water and sits on the edge of the pool across from me, his legs dangled into the water.

The journey of my eyes up to his face is slow, because they are forced to make a long and lingering pit stop at his endless valley of perfectly chiseled abs, flexed from his torso leaning forward as he grips the edge of the pool with his long, strong arms.

When I finally reach his face, it’s like he was patiently waiting for me to get there all this time, enjoying the attention I just gave him with my casual ogling.

Sometimes, I think that might be the only reason he keeps me around. He loves knowing he’s irresistible, even to me.

“You went and got chlorine in my eyes,” I scold him lamely.

He kicks at the water, sending another spray right at my face.

I flinch away, then glare at him. “Oh, real mature, Jimmy.”

“You gonna get yourself a man this summer?”

I wrinkle up my face, as if the question just smacked me in it. “What’s with you and your obsession with getting me a boyfriend? I’m not interested in anyone here, or in Fairview, or anywhere else.”

“So … single forever, then? That’s your plan?” He kicks lightly at the water again.

I lift a hand to shield my face. “Stop doin’ that!”

“There’s this gay nightclub halfway to Brookfield. It has a great crowd. Hot fellas. Lotta fun. My brother told me ‘bout it.”

“A gay nightclub? What are you—Are you seriously suggesting I should whore myself out for a boyfriend at a fuckin’ nightclub?”

“I dunno. Is that what you gay guys call it? Look.” He leans forward even further, causing his ripped abs to crunch up even more deliciously than they were already. “Even if it’s a total, bad nightmare, I kinda thought it’d be fun. You can meet some other gay dudes. I can see what your whole thing is like.”

“My whole thing?”

“Yeah, your scene or whatever. Dude, you had to suffer going to so many fuckin’ straight bars and clubs and shit out in Arizona. It’s only fair that I suffer one of yours.”