Without waiting for his reply, I thrust a hand into his crotch.
He squeezes his thighs shut with a gasp, trapping my hand.
“Jimmy!” he scolds me—while also suppressing a deep and obvious grunt of pleasure.
I smirk. “What? You can touch and feel me all over, and I can’t reciprocate? You scared I don’t know what to do with a dick, Bobby? I’ve had one my whole life too, you know.”
“I just …” He shuts his eyes, pained.
And then his dick flexes against my hand.
I lift an eyebrow. “You’re sayin’ one thing, and it’s sayin’ another.”
He opens his legs, grabs my wrist, and tries to pull my hand out of his crotch. I keep it right where it is, clinging to my handful of his swelling Parker jewels through his tight underwear.
He turns two cold eyes onto me. “I said we need to slow down.”
“Why?”
“Because I said so.”
“That isn’t a good enough answer for me.”
“Because what if this is all just sex and fun for you, we burn out, and suddenly you’re in Camille’s bed by the end of the summer?”
My eyes soften.
That wasn’t exactly the direction I thought he was going.
“Bobby, I’m not gonna—”
“You don’t know.”
“Why would I even—?”
“What if this is just what happens ‘cause you’ve been single so long?” he throws at me. We’re not whispering anymore. We’re full-on talking. “What if you’re just horny and any hole on Earth would do? I’ve seen how you are these past two years at South Wood. From one girl to the next.”
“I’m not that much of a man-whore, dude. C’mon.”
“All semester long. I couldn’t keep up with you, Jimmy!”
“You aren’t just another—!” I give a glance at my closed door, growl with frustration, then lower my voice to a hush. “You are not just another girl to me.”
“You remember that phase you went through at the beginning of last year?” He crosses his arms. “When suddenly you wanted a set of handcuffs, all ‘cause you met that one kinky girl with a lip ring from your poli-sci class who was ‘into stuff’?”
“Keep your voice down! You wouldn’t think it, but sound travels in this big-ass, echoey house.”
“And what about that other phase, the one when you only had sex with girls in your truck, playin’ it all risky in parking lots?”
Now I can’t even keep my voice to a whisper. “You are not callin’ yourself or us or whatever I’m going through no damned phase, Bobby Parker.”
“But what if it is? How would I know? You’re the horniest guy I’ve ever met.”
I let go of his crotch, grab the side of his face, and steer his eyes right into mine. “Look at me, Bobby. Look right at me and tell me what you see.”
His eyes search mine, clueless. Slowly, I watch his stubborn resolve begin to melt. “I see you, Jimmy.”
“Nah, not yet, you don’t.” My fingers slide into his soft hair. “I know this is all new for me, and I know you know me better than anyone on Earth, even better than my parents or my own brother knows me. Girls come and girls go, I know that. I’ve never had one that stuck. But you …? You’ve always been there, Bobby, and you always will be. We’re a … a forever thing, y’know what I mean?”
A flicker of uncertainty touches his eyes.
I lift my eyebrows and touch our foreheads together, then whisper the rest: “The only thing that can pull me away from you is if you tell me you don’t want this as badly as I do.”
“Jimmy …”
“And even then, I don’t know if I can turn away from you, Bobby. I just don’t have it in me. When I want somethin’ …”
“It’s just …”
“What?”
He closes his eyes. “It’s too much. Too quick. I’m freakin’ out.”
I let out a sigh, then remind myself that Bobby always sees things more clearly than I do. He always has. He’s like a fucking psychic sometimes, the way he foresees trouble.
Maybe he has a point.
I slump onto my pillow and roll onto my back with a sigh. “I won’t lie and say there isn’t a part of me that’s … probably a bit in shock. Over all of this. And whatever’s goin’ on with … with me.”
Bobby sighs up at the ceiling. “Yeah, I know.”
“I mean, this is totally new territory for me, man.”
“I know that, too.”
“So I get why you’re freakin’ out. Maybe it’s kinda weird that I’m not freakin’ out. Maybe that’s why you’re questioning this so much.”
“Can we just take this slower?”
I turn my head to face him.
He turns his, almost putting his lips to mine when he does. We search into each other’s eyes for a while, as if looking for the answer somewhere in them.
“That’s all I’m askin’,” he whispers so softly, I barely catch the words.