“But me?” he continues. “They don’t trust me. Not with the number of stab wounds I left on my father’s body. They had to let me go, because they couldn’t risk the scandal if it came out. That the decorated war hero was kicking around his family every night.”
“God, Blue.”
“If I get into a fight, they’ll wonder if I’m going to kill someone. More fucking scandal. The crazy thing is sometimes I want to kill someone. Like when Matthew was touching you.”
I swallow hard. I can’t blame him for wanting Matthew hurt. But not dead. Maybe I should want him dead. Maybe that makes me weak, that I don’t. “You seem so…controlled.”
He laughs. “I have to be. One fucking strike and I’m out. They aren’t going to let the self-defense thing happen again. The court-appointed lawyer made that clear. He thought he was doing me a favor, letting me know.”
I swallow. “Even if you need to defend yourself?”
“Even then.”
Chapter Four
One strike and I’m out.
Blue’s words stick with me, a horrible merry-go-round of dread that follows me into my dreams. I have nightmares about a body bleeding from a hundred holes, still standing and going after a younger version of Blue. The attacker’s face is blurry, and when I try to focus, he turns into Matthew—and he’s not coming after Blue anymore. He’s coming after me.
I sit up in bed, drenched in sweat. Moonlight streams through the twisted, cracked plastic blinds. The bed across the room is empty.
Where’s Lucy?
Sharing a room is probably the only reason Matthew has left me alone this long. Not that Lucy could really fight him off—or that she would do that for me. Matthew doesn’t know that. There’s strength in numbers. And now she’s gone.
There’s a squeak that sounds like an echo. Is that what woke me up?
I scramble back on the bed, pulling the sheet up to my chest. It doesn’t cover much. There’s no other blanket, no fitted sheet on the mattress. Just a threadbare piece of fabric covering me. “Lucy?”
The door opens a crack, drawing a thick black line down the wall. I can’t see who’s beyond it. I don’t really want to see. I want this to be a dream—another nightmare that will end when the sun comes up.
“Blue?” I whisper.
A shadow enters the room—large enough, wide enough that I know it’s not Blue. My heart sinks. No no no.
“Lucy left a few minutes ago,” comes a whispered voice. Matthew. “Some party or something.”
“What are you doing here?” My bravado has left me, leaving me raw and shaking.
“And your new boyfriend? He went with her.”
My heart stops. No. Somehow that’s worse than whatever might happen in this room. I can endure whatever happens to my body. I can’t survive what Blue does to my heart.
If he went to a party with Lucy, it will break me.
He didn’t make you any promises.
There’s no time to worry about him, because Matthew is advancing on me.
My hand scratches at the side table and finds something small and sol
id and steel. Unfortunately it’s not sharp, so it won’t make much of a weapon. My fingers close around it anyway, clutching it like a lifeline. That’s always my instinct when I’m afraid—to steal, to take. To find comfort in someone else’s things, because Lord knows I don’t have anything of my own.
Matthew’s lighter won’t save me now, though.
He crosses the small room in a matter of seconds and then flips me over.
“Don’t worry about that asshole,” Matthew says. “I’m here now.”