I like the way he asks me how I feel instead of Blue. Maybe that’s a small thing, but I spent enough time with men who will discuss a woman right in front of her, as if she doesn’t have a voice. When that happens, she really doesn’t have a voice. And I like that he isn’t beating around the bush, pretending he doesn’t know what I did or that it’s too bad to speak about.
“The Grand’s the best place to be if you’re going to strip,” I say honestly. “The building is old and falling down on the outside, well past the glory days, but Ivan keeps things safe and clean and fair on the inside.”
“But?” he asks, mimicking what I asked him.
“But that’s not what I want for myself. It never really was, except that I could make a lot of money quickly, money that I needed.” Mrs. Owens was worth it, and she never had to know what I did to keep her electricity going and her medicine paid for. “Now Blue is helping out with that.”
There is no censure in West’s face, like I half expected. Wouldn’t he think I’m taking advantage of his friend? Hell, sometimes I think that. Meanwhile my friend Candy said he’s the one taking advantage of me, pushing me to move in, to commit to him, and knowing how much the support will help. Aren’t we a pair? Taking advantage of each other. Maybe that’s what love is, in the end. If not, it’s a pretty fine substitute.
“What do you want to do now?” West asks.
“I’m taking some classes but…” I trail off because I don’t know how much Blue has told him. Honestly when Blue first started talking about going bareback, about filling me with his come and making me pregnant, I thought it was some kind of breeding fantasy. I still think it’s some kind of breeding fantasy, except that we’re making it real.
“We’re thinking of starting a family,” Blue says, taking my hand and pulling me onto his lap.
Surprise flashes across West’s face. He whistles. “Damn, girl. When you settle a man down, you settle a man down.”
That makes me laugh, and I curve myself into Blue’s embrace. “Don’t blame me. Blue’s the one with a ticking biological clock.”
“Nah, I don’t blame you. And I don’t blame him either. Maybe if I’d got here a year ago, I’d have been the one swooping in and take you for myself.”
The way he says it, like I’m some kind of ideal, like he’s almost jealous of what Blue has, makes me blush. For so long I thought I was worthless. I knew men liked to fuck me—and I knew exactly how much they liked to fuck me in a dollar amount. What I didn’t realize is that men would want me for more than that, that my past as both a knocked-around kid and a stripper wouldn’t stop them from wanting more.
Blue curves his hand around my ass and squeezes gently. “You might’ve been here a year ago, but you wouldn’t have swooped in and taken a damn thing.”
I expect West to laugh. They have a competitive camaraderie that is fun to be around. Except he doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t even crack a smile. Instead his gaze drops to where Blue’s hand is on my ass. For the first time since he showed up, lust flashes across his face.
Ner
vous, I glance at Blue. He’s watching me, lids low, a dark expression on his face. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and I think he likes it. It’s some kind of tease, an extension of their friendly competitiveness, natural and somehow intimate.
So intimate it makes me wonder if they’ve ever done more than tease.
My eyes widen. “Have you and him ever…?”
The corner of Blue’s mouth lifts. “What’s that, beautiful?”
“You know,” I stammer. “Shared a girl.”
The words come out in a rush, and I know from the sultry, smug looks on their faces that I’m right. “Not shared,” Blue says. “Not exactly. But I watched sometimes, sure. We’d get a night off and head to the bar near base. There are, what? Two men for every woman there. Maybe more.”
“Some girls like an audience,” West says, the drawl in his voice more pronounced.
The room feels twenty degrees hotter as testosterone and arousal swirl in the air. I had no idea that Blue was kinky enough to watch a couple have sex—although he’s been plenty kinky in other ways with just me and him. I imagine being some girl in a bar, being picked up by two men as big and strong and sexy as these two. It’s overwhelming…and I realize I may not have to imagine it after all.
Blue watches me from slitted eyes.
My voice is shaking. “Did you want me to—”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, beautiful. We’re just getting to know each other, after all.”
It makes me wonder if he thinks I’ll do more once I know West better. It makes me wonder if I even want to do more. Of course West is a handsome man, but being shared? “Umm.”
Blue shifts in his chair slightly, so my leg is trapped around his, and I’m slightly more exposed—facing West fully. “Maybe we could give him something to see,” he murmurs. “A nice little memory to bring to bed with him. Would he like that?”
West is completely still, lean body full of tension. “Christ, yes.” He pushes back in his chair, his expression more pain than pleasure. “Only if you’re okay, Hannah. Only if…”
“I’m okay,” I say, stronger now. God, if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s to give a man a show. “I want to.”