“Yeah, but up against Byron? Against all of them?”
His gaze dips to my chest. “This dress, Clara.”
The scarf is long gone, and all the running and freaking out have left my breasts almost popping out. I look like some kind of bombshell. I don’t feel like a bombshell, though. I feel like a bomb that’s about to go off if someone doesn’t listen to me. The two people I love most are making plans about my life without me. Very serious plans that involve Gio getting hurt.
And I’m afraid nothing I say can stop them.
“You can’t,” I say, my voice soft and desperate.
“I just need a minute,” he says, still staring at me in this dress.
“To what?”
“To remember this.”
Fear grips my heart tighter than anything before. This can’t be happening. I’d have let Javier touch me if I knew it would lead to this. I would let Javier do anything if it meant keeping Gio safe.
I can’t stand him looking at me. Not because I don’t want him to see. Because he’s looking at me like a dying man would—as if he knows it’s his last sight. As if drinking his fill.
My breath stutters. I need to be closer than this. This place we’re in—this is water. And he is air. I push up to him, pull him down to me. I meet his lips in a gasp.
Then he’s kissing me back, his lips demanding, tongue fierce. And his hands. Those large, beautiful hands that have done violence tonight—for me. They cradle my head so sweetly. How can something so good feel like pain? How can this be the end?
I shove him back. “We’ll find another way. Something. Anything.”
“There is no other way. This isn’t the first time I’ve thought of how to get you out of here. And if you stayed here, you’d condemn your sister too. Byron would make everyone suffer.”
And now it will only be Gio suffering. The canapés from the party turn in my stomach. My hands curl into fists, useless. “You wouldn’t let me do this. You wouldn’t let me sacrifice myself for you. So how can I let you?”
“You’re not letting me do anything, Clara. You don’t have a choice.”
Angrily I shove the tears aside. This isn’t a time to be sad, because this is not happening. We’re not leaving him behind. So why can’t I stop crying?
Why does it feel like I’ve already lost?
“Gio,” I say, my voice breaking.
His forehead touches mine again, his hands cradling my face. I feel so delicate when he holds me like this. I feel loved. “Let me do this for you,” he says roughly. “I couldn’t protect you before. I don’t have anything to offer. I never did. But this?”
“No, no,” I sob.
He pushes me tighter against him, cheek to cheek, and I swear these tears aren’t only mine. “You care too much, Clara.”
“How is that too much? It’s the right amount. I care too much to leave you here. How is that wrong?”
He is silent a moment. “It’s not wrong. But I care too much to let you stay.”
His arms come around me, holding me in. They feel unbreakable. They are castle walls, his arms. The
y are a drawbridge rolled up and a moat. They keep everyone out. Only with him do I feel completely safe. Maybe I’d always known how much he’d do for me. He’d fight for me. He’d die for me.
And that’s what he’s going to do. And at the end only rubble will be left.
“I’ll be fine,” he says, but we both know it’s a lie.
My hands clench in his shirt. “How can you be?”
“Just go,” he whispers fiercely. “You think this is about me sacrificing for you? No. I need you to do this for me, Clara. I need you to stay safe.”