My own body works against me, producing saliva to combat the salty, sticky flavor of him. It only produces more liquid for me to hold. Some of it dribbles out of the side of my mouth. I must look dirty. I must look pathetic.
His expression is nothing short of admiring. “You’re beautiful like this,” he says softly.
I can only blink up at him in response. My eyes fill with tears—a physical reaction to the stress of holding my mouth like this. And an emotional reaction to the vulnerability of it. I’m subservient to him in a way I had never imagined I could be. And I realize I was wrong before, to compare him to Leader Allen. Leader Allen may have touched my body. He may have made me kneel. But he would never have dominated me like this, so intensely it feels like I’m ripping apart just to please him for one second longer.
My lower lip is trembling now, almost violently with the effort. I feel the first twitch of his cock, and I realize that it’s my strain, my suffering, that’s getting him hard again.
The first time he came was a long buildup, steady thrusts and tender touches. This time he starts fucking my mouth almost right away. His hands lock behind my head. Short, fierce thrusts take me by surprise, and I can’t keep the come inside anymore. It spills out of my lips and down my chin. I don’t have time to wipe it or even feel embarrassed because he’s going too fast. I can only kneel with my mouth open as he finishes himself off.
In the end he presses deep—deep enough that swallowing isn’t a choice. Thick, hot come pulses at the back of my throat, and I swallow to keep from choking.
He holds me that way, cradling my head until he’s finished. When he pulls away, I move to wipe my face, but he stops me with a soft negative sound. “Wait here,” he says.
He returns in a minute with a warm washcloth, which he uses on my breasts, where drops dot my skin, and on my chin. He finds a clean corner of the washcloth and presses it into my mouth. “Suck,” he says, and I suckle the fabric until warm water trickles down my throat.
Only then can I ask him the question I’ve been holding in. “Ivan…tell me you weren’t serious about visiting Leader Allen.”
Okay, so I don’t really phrase it like a question. But I need to hear him say the words. I need him to reassure me that he’ll never confront Leader Allen—especially on his home turf.
Surprise flashes over his face, followed by understanding. He crouches down so we’re at eye level—almost. “You think he’s terrorizing my club. My girls. You have to know I can’t let that stand.”
“But I thought you said it wasn’t him,” I say hopefully, knowing it’s useless.
His expression conveys disapproval. “And you said it was him. The only way we’ll know for sure is to find proof. Since whoever this is covered their tracks very well, the second-best option is to confront him.”
“You can’t—” I struggle for how to say this. “You can’t go there. You can’t trust him. He’ll hurt you.”
That amuses him. “No, little one. That’s not how this will go down.”
“You don’t know him like I do. You don’t know what he’s capable of. People disappear there. Not just girls like me. Grown men. Strong men, gone without a trace.”
His amusement fades. “All the more reason he should be stopped.”
That makes me smile a little. “I didn’t realize you were a vigilante.”
Ivan cups the back of my neck and presses our foreheads together. “He scared you. That’s enough reason for me to kill him without any remorse.”
I twist my hands together on my knees. “You can’t.”
An eyebrow rises. “No?”
“My mother…she loves him.” No, that’s not the right word. “She worships him.” I may have a fucked-up relationship with her—or no relationship, really. But even so, I don’t want to do that to her.
Ivan frowns. “I can’t promise what will happen. If it turns out he’s responsible…”
“Maybe I could come with you. If there’s trouble, I could get her out.” The thought of seeing her after all these years makes my heart pound.
“No,” he says immediately. “It’s too dangerous.”
“You just said it would be fine,” I protest.
“For me. I’m not afraid of him. I know his kind. I understand him.”
“Because you’re a monster too?”
“Yes. And because we both wanted the same girl. The difference is, I have her. Parading you in front of him will only make him want to come after you, even if he wasn’t the perpetrator before. I can protect you, but I don’t need any more religious nut jobs fucking with my club.”
Okay, he has a good point. Still… “They won’t even let you onto Harmony Hills without permission. Or an escort. There are armed guards at the entry points.”