She steps to the side to get a better shot—and that’s when I realize she isn’t pointing it at Ivan. She’s pointing it at Leader Allen. Oh God, suddenly it’s clear to me what Sarah Elizabeth is doing in this house. It’s clear who has had to take my mother’s place, since I wasn’t here to do it. My stomach rolls over.
“Sarah Elizabeth,” I whisper. “Don’t.” Not because I don’t want him dead. Whatever I’d felt for Leader Allen, lingering devotion or maybe just pity—it’s evaporated now, seeing the fear in this young woman’s eyes.
No, I don’t want her to shoot because she shouldn’t have to. It’s an act that would haunt her forever, even if Leader Allen deserves it. I know, because it would haunt me too. Our teachings run too deep. Ivan can shoot him. Or Luca. Hell, I’ll do it if it means sparing her one more second of pain, pain that should have been mine all along.
I push the barrel of the rifle aside so it’s pointing at the wall. Sarah Elizabeth’s eyes are wide, lower lip trembling.
A choked sound comes from behind me, and I turn in time to see Leader Allen stagger to his feet, clearly unbalanced but surging forward just the same. “That’s right, girl,” he says with a cold smile directed straight at me. “You wouldn’t kill your father, would you?”
I freeze in horror, every muscle seized tight. He doesn’t mean father like a priest. That isn’t what we ever called him. He was our leader. Leader Allen. And he’s my father… The memory of what he did to me, of his hands on me, sears my skin like a brand I’ll never be able to erase.
My gaze clashes with Ivan’s. In those pale gray eyes I see my anguish, my horror reflected back at me—along with something I’m too broken to feel in this moment. Rage.
Sarah Elizabeth moves from behind me, pushing forward.
Then Luca is there, holding her back. I hear a scuffling sound and shouting—then a gun goes off. I’m too frozen to move. Too shocked to even care if it’s gone through me. I can only stare in horror and fascination as Ivan pulls Leader Allen close and pumps three bullets into his stomach.
The older man slumps to the floor, already unconscious.
Already dead before his body collapses in a graceless heap.
My hands clap over my mouth, barely holding it in. Then I’m running, stumbling down the steps, racing out the door. I make it to the honeysuckle plants outside before I throw up, kneeling in the dirt as my body rejects anything and everything. I’m sick to my stomach, sick to my soul.
My mother knew. She must have known who he was to me. That must have been why she went with him. Even with his precious Harmony Hills, he’d found a young prostitute to fuck in the city. And when he’d knocked her up, he’d brought her and her small child to keep in his house—not as part of his family. As pretty little playthings.
My stomach heaves again, and I lean over the dirt, mouth open in shock and horror, but nothing is left inside me. I left them in that room. Ivan, Luca, Sarah Elizabeth. The dead body of Leader Allen. I can’t bring myself to think of him as my father.
Luca exits the house first, dragging a shrieking Sarah Elizabeth in his arms.
There’s blood seeping from his shirt, and I realize he’s been shot. It doesn’t seem to slow him down any or interfere with his strength. Sarah Elizabeth is fighting him off, but she’s losing. Even shot, he’s a powerful force. Why is he taking her? Where is he taking her? The questions float away, lost in the storm of my hatred, of my shame.
Ivan comes out next. He comes straight to me and helps me stand. He doesn’t say a word as we head back down the lane.
The first shot hits the dirt.
It takes me a second to realize what’s happening. Ivan realizes it sooner. He swings me into his arms as the second shot rings out and hits the ground, sending more dirt into the air. Oh God.
Luca still has Sarah Elizabeth with him, and the men from the other limos circle us, shooting back at the houses.
“No,” I scream. “There’s children.”
The worst part is those children might have guns. The women might too. They’re too brainwashed to do anything else. We’re demons, come to slay their mighty leader.
“Don’t shoot,” Ivan tells them as we reach the limos.
The men look angry but they shove us inside, and soon enough we’re heading back out.
The gate is closed when we make it back through—but the spikes are facing away from us, meant to keep cars out, not in. The first limo blasts through the gate at top speed. The next limo has Luca and Sarah Elizabeth, though I can’t see them. Ivan and I are in the last one.
We tear over the country roads for hours. For eternity.
Ivan confers with his men over the phone.
“No one’s hit,” they tell him. “Except Luca.”
My eyes shut tight against what I saw in that house, what I learned. I curl into a ball.
Only Ivan’s touch can calm me now. He’s the eye of this storm, the only thing that isn’t spinning and destructive in this whole mad place. We drive out of Harmony Hills much quicker than we came, while I shiver uncontrollably, held tight in Ivan’s lap.